how to have a closer-bond with someone?
When you want to have a deeper relationship with your dating partner, here are a few ideas which encourage closer emotional intimacy.
In personal relationships, sometimes you get to the point where you’re ready to go to the next level. Instead of a casual dating situation, you want a deeper, more committed relationship that may last over time or even lead to marriage.
But how do you take the next step without tumbling into an abyss? Here are a few tips that might prove helpful:
1. Spend more time together. Some dating relationships begin with the couple seeing each other once or twice a week. This works well when both people work or manage other responsibilities, like college or caring for a family. Over time, however, you may decide that you want to know more about the other person, and that involves spending more time together through the week or on weekends so that you can observe each other more often or experience a variety of lifestyle situations. This should be a shared decision, not one person demanding more time than the other wants to give. Work out the details of when and how often you will get together, and for what purpose.
2. Share more of your lives. The type of lifestyle events you share can make a difference in the direction of your relationship. For example, you may decide to introduce your dating partner to the family and even to invite him to holiday dinners or parties. Perhaps the two of you will attend each other’s company picnics or Christmas parties. You may want to run errands together, like getting a haircut or washing the car. Whichever direction you go, taking the other person along can help you grow closer as you peek into the crevices of each other’s daily schedules or special events.
3. Cultivate intimate conversation. Special discussions or time spent conversing about meaningful things helps to foster a relationship. Women, especially, enjoy time spent talking, although many men willingly develop this habit with the women in their lives. Set a few minutes aside during your time together to talk over each other’s workday, to share political or religious views, or to exchange opinions on current events. You may want to solicit advice or air a viewpoint. Perhaps you just seek a listening ear. Being these things for each other can deepen your value as a couple.
4. Discuss problems openly. Sometimes we ignore petty irritations. But don’t sweep major problems under the rug. Issues dealing with money, extended family, work schedules, and child discipline or housework can have serious ramifications for many relationships, especially if you are thinking about getting married. Thoughtfully explore these issues and other problems that rise to the surface of your relationship. Be a courteous listener and take pains to be sure you understand your partner’s position before trying to express your own. Then together, work on finding a suitable solution.
5. Be mutually supportive. There will be times when a partner’s need may interfere with our own desires or goals. For example, you bring home a report to work on that’s due tomorrow, and your partner calls to ask if she can unburden herself of a nagging problem about a coworker. With a sigh you agree, trying not to be disgruntled. It’s fine to set boundaries:
“Sure, come on over. I have to finish this report, but let’s talk it over until 8:30 or so.”
Another example may be when you want to get a good night’s sleep and the phone rings just as you’re drifting off. Your date mate wants to ask your opinion about whether her mom needs to see a doctor for a suspicious cough. You really don’t want to answer the phone, and you’d rather be sleeping than discuss someone’s cough, but suppressing a growl you listen patiently for twenty minutes before ending the conversation with an affectionate good-bye.
Building and maintaining a healthy relationship is challenging today. But it’s still worthwhile to do the work before marriage than to struggle with unresolved issues afterward.
