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Showing posts from September 23, 2007

How Girls Can Tell He's Interested

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Around 85 per cent of couples who just had their first dates remarked that before they were even introduced they were already sending signs of attention and interest to each other. These are couples that did not come from first dates, rather, tried to communicate first and see if they click. It usually begins when either one of them making contact with the eyes, a hint of interest floating in the air. The big question is: How does a girl find out if a guy is showing interest in her? Basically, that question is also answered by a set of questions. Is the guy responding when there is an attempt for conversation? Does he return back the smiles? Is he showing any flirtatious signs? Enough imagining the past girl, there are tell tale signs to look for to know if a guy has really the hots for a girl. A guy is interested in a girl if: He gazes at the girl’s eyes longer and more intently than he would when talking to others. The trick is to make eye contact for a short time, then...

10 Different Ideas For Long Distance Relationship

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“Miles and miles and miles apart, Although so far you’ve touched my heart, Your laugh, your voice, your adoring smile, Seems to shorten every mile.” Love cannot be measured by distances. The relationship is measured by the depth of emotions. Trust and loyalty are the only wheels of love to eternity. Long Distances can become a torment, but cannot be a barrier in love. There are lots of things that one can do to keep up the romance in long relationship. So not to worry if you are miles away from your love, just go through the following romantic ideas to keep your relationship exciting and intimate: • Surprise gifts: when they are not expecting, send you partner flowers, cards and letters occasionally. • Memories: capture and share that interesting moment of yours by exchanging photos, video clips. Post a declaration of your love on youtube. • Surprise visits: show them how much you care for your love and that you will do anything for them by planning a surprise visit. Plan the visit eve...

Do you know your couple conflict style?

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Do you fly off the handle at the slightest thing or are you a peacemaker who cools things down? Find out what your conflict style is from Relationship psychotherapist Paula Hall . Stuck in a rut? Many couples notice that their arguments seem to follow familiar patterns. They may always erupt from nowhere, for example, or gradually build up over a period of days. As individuals, most of us will have developed a particular conflict style, learnt from years of watching how others manage their differences. Understanding your style can help you act differently and get out of 'argument ruts'. Which style are you? Here are some of the most common styles of arguing. Perhaps you'll recognise yourself in some of them. The peacemaker - you don't like arguments and see it as your responsibility to cool things down and sort things out as soon as possible, even if this means ignoring your personal needs or not having your opinions heard. The defensive attacker - you believe that th...

Ways to avoid arguments in couplehood

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Many arguments occur for the wrong reasons and get out of hand easily. This checklist by relationship psychotherapist Paula Hall can help you to avoid rows - when you next feel a conflict brewing, just ask yourself these questions. Your feelings Are you overreacting because you're tired and stressed? Could the anger you feel be at someone or something else? Are you hormonal at the moment and feeling unusually irritable or sensitive? Is your mood being affected by illness? Your partner's feelings Could your partner be overreacting because they're tired or stressed? Do you know that they're currently feeling angry about something else? Is your partner either struggling with health issues or being affected by hormonal changes? Your conscience Are you feeling defensive about what your partner has said or done because you feel guilty? Could you be feeling defensive because you want to avoid having to say you're sorry? Are you bearing a grudge against your partner for so...

How to make peace

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The next time you find yourself in an argument with your partner, keep in mind the following tips from relationship psychotherapist Paula Hall so you can bring the conflict to an end swiftly - and peacefully. Abnormal behaviour It's important to accept that arguments are a normal part of relationships. We're all different and where there's difference, there will be disagreement. But when arguing seems to be a way of life and leaves you feeling exhausted, hurt or wondering if you want to stay in the relationship, it's time to call a truce and sort things out. The first step towards doing this is to understand what you're really arguing about and get an insight into your conflict style . After you've looked at both these areas, you can use some of the techniques below to help you sort things out. Some can be done alone; others need your partner's cooperation. Be self-aware Self-awareness and self-responsibility are the first steps in sorting out and avoiding...

Reasons to marry?

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Although living together is now acceptable, 60 per cent of cohabiting couples still get married after a few years. Relationship psychotherapist Paula Hall looks at why we still marry in the face of divorce statistics and how to make sure it's the right choice for you. "Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution yet" - Mae West Good reasons to marry Because you're in love. Although love shouldn't be the only reason to marry, it's an important ingredient in the most successful relationships. To make a commitment. You've decided that you want to be together forever, knowing each other's faults and failings. It's part of your culture. The ceremony of marriage is an integral part of your cultural or religious beliefs and an essential part of your core value system. To start a family. You've both enjoyed a secure and committed relationship for some time and feel marriage is the best environment in which to bring up...

Long-distance relationships: making it work?

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Absence makes the heart grow fonder - or so the saying goes. But what if the time away is prolonged, or one partner is more relaxed about the situation? Relationship psychotherapist Paula Hall has some tips to help you stay together even when apart. Different views of distance How couples cope with being apart largely depends on how they feel about the separation. Here are some common interpretations: What's the big deal? - if you were brought up in a family where absence was the norm, it may be that periods apart are no problem. It's the thin end of the wedge - perhaps in your past someone left saying it was temporary, but didn't come back. You may see a period of separation as the beginning of the end. If you loved me, you'd stay - love is linked to being physically near and any threat to that is also a threat to your emotional security. But it's not for long - it might be your nature to look at life in the long term and see a bigger picture and, therefore, y...

How to let go of resentments

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Holding onto anger, bitterness and resentment, can damage your relationship, your self-esteem and even your health. Relationship psychotherapist Paula Hall looks at the importance of letting go. Why we get angry Disagreements and tension are bound to arise when we live with someone. The key to a successful relationship is learning to express our feelings and resolve such conflicts, and most of us develop our own ways of coping with these minor frustrations. Sometimes, however, overwhelming feelings of anger can consume us. These may be caused by a single major event, such as the discovery of an affair, or can be the result of something that leaves us feeling let down on a regular basis, such as lack of attention. Causes of anger Some situations are more likely to leave us struggling with strong feelings of anger than others. When it's a shock - when a partner does something unexpected it can take a long time for feelings of anger to recede. You may also feel confused and betrayed...

Helping each other through grief

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Even the strongest relationships can be rocked by bereavement. Relationship psychotherapist Paula Hall explores how it may affect you as a couple and how to support each other through this difficult time. As an individual going through bereavement, you may feel the bottom has fallen out of your world; as part of a couple, you have to work out how to support your partner while struggling with your own despair. Patterns of grief There's a recognised pattern of grief. It starts with shock and disbelief, moves into a period of yearning and anxiety. Then follows a time of anger and protest before sadness and moving on. Of course, this pattern is only a generalisation - the intensity and length of each phase can vary hugely from person to person. There's no right or wrong way to grieve: how we mourn is as unique as we are. For couples, these differences can cause additional distress. At a time when you desperately need to share your grief and feel close to someone, it can be diffic...

Is it really over?

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Falling out of love can sometimes be just as easy as falling in love. Working out whether it's just a phase or if your relationship has reached the end of the line is one of life's hardest decisions. Relationship psychotherapist Paula Hall asks the difficult questions. The pros and cons When people try to decide if their relationship's over, they often find themselves weighing up the pros and cons. On the pros side they put all their partner's positive character traits, the happy memories and the advantages of being together. On the cons they list all the things they don't like about their partner, the painful memories and the reasons why living together sometimes feels impossible. The problem with this system is that they're never measuring like for like. For example, when listing personal qualities, how many negatives would it take to counteract being an excellent mother? And how many happy memories does it take to outweigh an affair? Unfortunately, there...

The secrets of successful relationships

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Every relationship needs a solid foundation if it's to survive all life can throw at it. Relationship psychotherapist Paula Hall looks at the seven essentials that spell success. 1. Love yourself Unless you love yourself, it's hard for you to believe that anyone else will. Self-esteem is important for a healthy relationship. When you truly like yourself, in spite of any failings and weaknesses you may have, you'll feel confident. And when you feel confident and secure within yourself, you can enjoy being with your partner for the joy they bring to your life, not because you feel you need them to survive. For tips on building confidence see the Improving confidence site. If you've had bad experiences in the past, it's worth working through these issues with a trusted friend or counsellor. It can be tempting to lean on your partner and rely on them for reassurance, but the stronger you are as an individual, the stronger and more equal your relationship will be. 2. L...