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Decide if you are getting married for the right reasons with these helpful tips. Would you like to know if you are ready to get married ? First, ask yourself if you are at the right place in your own life. Examine your motivations for wanting to get married. Don’t compromise because you need financial help, are lonely, or think that marriage will otherwise solve your problems. A spouse can be a source of support and companionship , but choosing the wrong person for you can only perpetuate your troubles. Before you get married, make sure you have built a solid foundation for your relationship with your partner. How well do you know one another? You should be aware of each other’s history, preferences, and lifestyle, and be able to discuss things openly. Ideally, you will have seen the person in a variety of situations and know how they cope and what to expect from them. Find out if you and your partner have the same expectations for your married lives together. Discuss and consid...

He may be testing you to find out You've been getting closer with a woman and you're thinking, Hmm… she might be the one. But in the back of your mind an insistent little voice keeps nagging, This is too good to be true. And instant replays of all the mood swings, temper tantrums and unbridled greediness of your past girlfriends flit through your brain. Maybe there have been inklings that all is not sunny in relationship paradise; or maybe you're just feeling a need to tap the brakes a little and tread cautiously — after all, dating is a significant investment of time if you're not headed in the right direction. So before you commit, put her to the test. Women are constantly testing us and constantly evaluating the results, so it's only fair for us to turn the tables. Here are a few tests you can try on for size: Excess baggage Lots of women are the "walking wounded" — they carry around unresolved hurt and anger from past relationships and expect the n...

By Dave Singleton “Things were going great until she…”: That’s the refrain I heard when I asked guys what happens when they date a woman and then dump her. I’m not saying that women should bear the brunt of all breakups or feel as if they are to blame. My goal here is to illuminate the kind of behavior that most often turns a guy from happily dating toward thinking, “This isn’t going well….” Hear what they have to say, and see if you can gain a little insight into the male mind that can help you in future relationships. Miss Overly Dependent. “The first six months we dated, she took care of herself and did everything that she needed to do on her own,” says Tim, 33, of St. Louis. “Then she started asking me what I thought about everything. I understand some questions, but it was the daily stuff that I never got asked about before that bugged me. She wanted to know what she should pack for trips that we took, even though she’d already researched the weather and knew the itinerary. She ...

By Karen Salmansohn Throughout the ages, there’s been one question that has consistently stumped even the wisest of prophets and gurus: “How do you know when it’s love... and how do you know when you should dump the chump?” I say: Don’t waste precious time-ticking-time with the wrong partner! Here’s a list of relationship-clarifying questions to better serve daters who are newly head-over-heels... So you can suss out sooner versus later if you’ve found the love of your life—or if you should run for your life! Good looks fade. But a bad personality is forever. If you took away the physical attraction and hot sex, would you still want to be friends with this person? Does your new partner tell you outright that he or she is not ready to be in a serious relationship? If so, listen up! What you hear is what you get! You need at least one VERY to fall in love. For example, it helps if your honey is VERY smart, or VERY good-looking, VERY caring or VERY funny, etc. Basically, you need to s...

Although living together is now acceptable, 60 per cent of cohabiting couples still get married after a few years. Relationship psychotherapist Paula Hall looks at why we still marry in the face of divorce statistics and how to make sure it's the right choice for you. "Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution yet" - Mae West Good reasons to marry Because you're in love. Although love shouldn't be the only reason to marry, it's an important ingredient in the most successful relationships. To make a commitment. You've decided that you want to be together forever, knowing each other's faults and failings. It's part of your culture. The ceremony of marriage is an integral part of your cultural or religious beliefs and an essential part of your core value system. To start a family. You've both enjoyed a secure and committed relationship for some time and feel marriage is the best environment in which to bring up...

At some point in our lives, we want to quit "the game" and settle down with that one special lady. Marriage is a word that we all dread until suddenly, one day, it all makes sense and you pop the big question. The big day -- your wedding -- is probably one of the most stressful events you will have to go through. And quite understandably, there may be a voice in the back of your mind asking, ”What the hell am I doing?” Approximately half of all marriages end in divorce , so it's sensible to double-check that your very last pickup is the perfect woman for you. Your buddies may tell you to look at your potential mother-in-law to see what your future wife will become -- a classic warning sign. But if that's not enough, here are a few more signs that you should consider calling off the wedding. She Has Pre-wedding Stress Granted, the wedding is a very stressful affair -- we'll give her that much. But as you wave goodbye to all the joys and memories of sing...

By Matthew Fitzgerald Men love their freedom. For many guys, the very thought of making a commitment to one woman for the rest of their lives is enough to send them sprinting for the hills. The dreaded "C-word" implies compromise, loss of independence, the sacrifice of sexual variety, and the looming specter of financial devastation. And the statistics bear this out -- the U.S. Census reports that, over the past four decades, the rate of marriage has definitely been on the decrease. According to the National Marriage Project, a study undertaken at Rutgers University, men today are overwhelmingly apprehensive about getting married. Cohabitation -- commitment with an escape hatch -- is on the rise. So what is the explanation for this phenomenon? Just why are men so afraid of commitment these days? Here are a few of the reasons: No more freedom We men are extremely independent by nature. We like to make our own decisions and run our lives by our own rules. We want to do what w...

Getting married is once in a lifetime decision for many people. When people wish to get married, invariably all of them expect a full life together. Very few would think of marriage as a short-term exercise. Hence, it is very much necessary that all aspects of a life together be fully analyzed before tying the knot. Usually men and women tend to have different perspectives about married life. It would be better to have open and honest discussion to sort out the possible future irritants or at least understand them so that some sort of compromise could be arrived at. The reasons that a man looks at while desiring to marry her are innumerous. However, a few of them top the list in order of priority. For most men, the need of a woman in life is necessitated by the motherly love that he had received in his early life. He needs a woman who can show him the same love and who could fulfill his physical and emotional needs . That is why many men look for the same qualities in a w...

When James Douglas Barron's girlfriend wanted to get married, he was, well, afraid. What threw this otherwise brave man into a fit if fear? Simple. He thought long-term commitment would ruin their fun relationship. Now that they are married (and happy), James thinks his prenuptial terror couldn't have been more amiss. In his book, She Wants a Ring -- and I Don't Wanna Change a Thing he offers advice to other commitment-phobes and along the way gives women a glimpse into the male psyche. "For a guy, the decision to get married is a series of educated guesses," says Barron. "For some women -- not all -- it's intuition. That's why it's so terrifying for men. They feel as though they're at sea without a paddle while women are sailing through the water on course." Ready for some real insight from a real guy? Some are more serious than others, but here are James' top 10 reasons why men (even your man) may be afraid to get hitch...

by Sherry Amatenstein Men and marriage -- ever wonder what it takes to get the two together? If you're trying to get your boyfriend to make a commitment, I have good news and bad news. The good news is that you can stop trying to manipulate, sweet-talk or pressure him into proposing. The bad news is that there's nothing you can do to speed up the process. That's not to say it'll never happen. Men fall in love and get married every day. But men have their own biological clocks . When they're ready, they head down the aisle -- but not a moment sooner. In the meantime, it's not possible to convince commitment-phobic guy that you're the best thing that will ever happen to him -- even if you are! Instead, your best bet is looking for someone who doesn't need convincing. The Sex and the City gang once compared a marriage-ready man to a taxi: At a certain point in his life, he becomes ready for commitment. His "available" light goes on and the ne...