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Wondering if you've just met the perfect match? Here are some guidelines to help you decide if it's true love. After several dates, you feel you've found the perfect person. This is your dream mate , the one who will stand by you through thick and thin. You're ready to tie the knot at last. But is it love? Or is it a cheap imitation, like infatuation, lust, or even simple companionship ? Here are a few things to consider as you make the ultimate life-changing decision: 1. Do you want what's best for this person, or do you want what this person can do to help you? For example, if your mate has the chance to get a wonderful job in another city, are you willing to pull up stakes and move, or will you expect the job opportunity to get tossed aside for you? Love means putting the other person's needs ahead of your own, even when that involves sacrifice. While blind agreement to any difference of opinion is unrealistic and unreasonable, a thoughtful discussion of wh...

by Sherry Argov You've heard that nice guys finish last, but what about nice girls? In this excerpt from her book Why Men Marry Bitches , author Sherry Argov reveals why men actually prefer a confident, secure woman (Argov's definition of the word bitch ) to one who lets her man take the reins in a relationship. She surveyed real men , who spilled exactly what makes or breaks their opinion of the women they meet — and it turns out that having your own life, making your own plans and not letting him win all the time only makes you more attractive. So who says being a "bitch" is a bad thing? Not these guys! Here's what they had to say: "The worst thing a woman can do is see a guy every night of the week. That's how she becomes his good-time girl on his 'reserve list.' What will happen is, the guy will start coming over at nine o'clock and then he'll leave by ten-thirty. If he gets access or what he wants from her anytime he wants it, he won...

by Sherry Argov You've heard that nice guys finish last, but what about nice girls? In this excerpt from her book Why Men Marry Bitches , author Sherry Argov reveals why men actually prefer a confident, secure woman (Argov's definition of the word bitch ) to one who lets her man take the reins in a relationship. She surveyed real men , who spilled exactly what makes or breaks their opinion of the women they meet — and it turns out that having your own life, making your own plans and not letting him win all the time only makes you more attractive. So who says being a "bitch" is a bad thing? Not these guys! Here's what they had to say: "The worst thing a woman can do is see a guy every night of the week. That's how she becomes his good-time girl on his 'reserve list.' What will happen is, the guy will start coming over at nine o'clock and then he'll leave by ten-thirty. If he gets access or what he wants from her anytime he wants it, he won...

by Patricia Pitta Ph.D., A.B.P.P., Family Psychologist, Diplomate in Family Psychology Stop Blaming the "Other" Solve Your Relationship Problems The marital relationship is a tug of war for power and control. When one member of the relationship is more dominant or doesn't permit the expression for the self or the other, the relationship will experience a halt in emotional growth of the individuals and the couple will begin to experience disappointment, fear, and worry. Anger will become the predominant emotion which will envelop the relationship leaving the couple with a sense of utter despair, confusion and just feeling hopeless. At this point, many couples think about leaving the relationship because they just can't understand and work with the dynamics in the relationship and can't tolerate their conflicted feelings. The impulse to run away is paramount, but the reality is you can not run away from yourself. It is essential that you know...

There's no denying that maintaining a relationship is a lot of work. Almost fifty percent of all marriages end in divorce, and many wonder how people can maintain their relationships over their entire lives. To that end, we've created this article to help showcase some tips that can help you to get through the rough spots in your relationship and keep you happy throughout the duration of your courting. - It's important to keep a light mood in a relationship. While trust and maturity are important to a relationship, it's important to be lighthearted. Relationships are supposed to make us happy; many of us often forget this simple fact and end up getting nothing but grief and stress. Be sure that you can joke with your partner, and that they can poke fun at you. - Try your best not to focus on your differences. If the two of you are in disagreement on a topic, discuss it once and then try to avoid the issue if you're still in conflict. The more differentiation ...

by Neil Clark Warren, Ph.D. We've all heard it over and over again. "If you want to find a great relationship, look for an opposite." Is that really the best approach? How can someone who has a different set of values, attitudes and hobbies be so attractive? People who are dramatically different from us are often the most attractive . This comes from a common sense approach to social relationships. Our lives are usually enriched by connections to others who have abilities that we don't have. Unfortunately, applying this lesson to our romantic pursuits is often a recipe for disaster. "If the qualities that attract you to someone are different from your own, be cautious," says Dr. Neil Clark Warren, clinical psychologist and author of "Date or Soul Mate? How To Know If Someone Is Worth Pursuing in Two Dates Or Less." He points out that, while opposites often attract, they also usually drive each other crazy over the long haul....

By Bob Strauss Before we talk about dating only hotties, let’s consider the animal kingdom for a moment: “The Egyptian vulture is a beautiful bird with white plumage and a yellow head. Yellow heads are very sexy among Egyptian vultures, the yellower the better. Unfortunately, the way they get those yellow heads is by eating the dung of other animals—sheep, goats, and cows. Which just goes to show, amazing looks might be a sign of an unsavory habit.” The next time you ogle that flawlessly beautiful specimen of female pulchritude at the coffee shop, consider these words of wisdom from Katherine Gould, author of A Tiger in the Bedroom: Lessons from Mother Nature’s Sex Shop: While it’s unlikely that the object of your affection has been feasting on you-know-what, focusing exclusively on her appearance may be a sign that you need to bring some higher brain functions — such as intelligence, intuition, and common sense — into play. How can you tell that you’re too obsessed with looks, over...

By Karen Salmansohn So, it finally happened. You lucked out and met someone you feel could be The One—versus the usual just another one. You’re excited. And with this exuberance comes the urge to run, not walk, into a serious commitment. You tell yourself if you feel this strongly, it must be real—so why fake otherwise? You’re not into playing games. But the truth is, you could be playing a big game with yourself if you rush your crush. Your rushing might not be fueled by sheer almighty desire—but by your need to control your partner and the relationship. And, here’s a Big Love Irony: Rushing love actually leads to less control—because often, when you rush that crush you’re more likely to crash that crush. Many people who move speedily into a relationship wind up scaring off a potential partner—or even unwittingly scaring off themselves. There’s also a Big Love Irony, Part 2: It doesn’t matter how fast you get somewhere if you’re heading in the wrong direction. Often when you rush a ...

High-maintenance women. A reader actually asked, "Why don't you write a Top 10 Signs She Is Not High-Maintenance since all women are high-maintenance?" Funny stuff; the man does have a point, so I guess we will hit you with that one later. In the meantime, enjoy this one and discover whether or not you're dating a high-maintenance woman. 10. She's unfair She asks you to drive her somewhere, and you get yelled at for being stuck in traffic. You go for a walk, and she gets peeved because it starts to rain. You stop by to surprise her with pizza, but she blasts you for not getting burgers. 9. She's daddy's girl She has never earned anything in her life; she was born with a silver spoon in her mouth and requires the help of servants to remove it. Her idea of protection is the insurance clauses on her daddy's platinum card. 8. Going out is like the countdown to eternity Going out for a night on the town should be more fun than this, but you must give...

When James Douglas Barron's girlfriend wanted to get married, he was, well, afraid. What threw this otherwise brave man into a fit if fear? Simple. He thought long-term commitment would ruin their fun relationship. Now that they are married (and happy), James thinks his prenuptial terror couldn't have been more amiss. In his book, She Wants a Ring -- and I Don't Wanna Change a Thing he offers advice to other commitment-phobes and along the way gives women a glimpse into the male psyche. "For a guy, the decision to get married is a series of educated guesses," says Barron. "For some women -- not all -- it's intuition. That's why it's so terrifying for men. They feel as though they're at sea without a paddle while women are sailing through the water on course." Ready for some real insight from a real guy? Some are more serious than others, but here are James' top 10 reasons why men (even your man) may be afraid to get hitch...

Cosmo uncovers the nonverbal clues that reveal whether a man is telling the whole truth and nothing but . . . or lying through his teeth. Bites His Lower Lip Liar look: He bites down on his lower lip. The lowdown: "When a man gnaws, tightens or sucks his lips inward, you know he's not telling you the whole truth," says body-language expert Jan Hargrave, author of Let Me See Your Body Talk . "He's physically fighting to hold back confessing the full story." Crosses Extremities Liar look: He crosses his arms, legs or ankles. The lowd own: "As children, we cross our fingers as we tell a lie to let our conscience off the hook," says Hargrave. "As grown-ups, we have a similar protective reflex. We subconsciously close ourselves off physically by intertwining our limbs." Rubs His Eye Liar look: He uses his index finger to rub the outside corner of his right or left eye. The lowdown...

BY JENNIFER BENJAMIN To suss out his true intentions, you have to skip the talk and zoom in on physical signals. Here, the subtle moves (he doesn't even know he's doing them) that say he's turned on, tuned in...or total trouble. When it comes to dating, mating and manhandling, any edge you can score is majorly beneficial. One invaluable coupling-up coup: the fact that you can read any man's mind just by looki ng at him. "Before developing speech, we communicated with our bodies," says David B. Givens, Ph.D., director of the Cen ter for Nonverbal Studies in Spokane, Washington. "We still subconsci ously use those instinctive responses to express our feelings." So if you can interpret a guy's signals, it's like having a backstage pass to his psyche. Eureka! Read on to learn his most-telling moves...and how to respond with some undercover communication of your own. The Cocked Noggin When your eyes meet, he tilts his head slightly to the side. ...

By Bob Strauss So it’s your third date, and you’re starting to suspect that the person you’ve been making googly eyes at all night may not be telling the entire truth. To start with, your date was an hour late, which was blamed on traffic coming into town. Next, whenever you ask about previous relationships, this person nervously checks the time and changes the subject. Finally, your date is wearing a striped prison uniform, and you just know this person has to have at least one other outfit to choose from. OK, just kidding about that last point, but this is a serious (and surprisingly common) situation that merits some hard-headed advice. We asked Martha Stout, author of the best-selling The Sociopath Next Door , about what to do when you suspect your date is lying. Here’s what she had to say: Forget what you’ve seen on TV. The plots of countless crime shows notwithstanding, Stout says, “even trained psychologists are very bad at discerning the moment when someone is telling a lie.”...

By David Zinczenko What is it with men, anyway? Chances are you’ve spent more than your share of long nights on the phone or tossing back a margarita or two with your girlfriends, asking that very question. And chances are, your girlfriends nodded and shrugged and sympathized, knowing exactly how you felt. But from where I stand, asking a woman to explain the feelings of a man is sort of like asking Donald Rumsfeld to explain hip-hop music. We’d all be a lot better off if we looked for answers closer to the source. Here, for the first time ever, we’ve gotten them to show their cards on some of your top questions: Q: Why does a guy say he’ll call and then doesn’t? A: He’s thinking like a jockey at the start of a horse race. He doesn’t want to pull out of the gates too fast. Waiting a few days allows him to set a comfortable pace before he makes a move. Any longer than that probably means he’s pulled himself up and plans on entering another race, another day. Q: Why do guys email instead...

By Andrea Madison You're past the early stages of your relationship and the two of you are getting pretty close. You are probably thinking that it's time to open up and share all those intimate details of your past and present. Well, stop right there. Up until now, you've probably been told that honesty is the best policy in a relationship -- and most of the time it is. However, there are certain things about you, your family and your personal history that you don't need to share with your woman -- ever. Now, I'm certainly not advocating lying, but rather selectively omitting some information that might not work in your favor. The following are 10 things that you should definitely not tell your girlfriend, even if she asks. In fact, mentioning any of the following would probably have her say, "I wish you hadn't told me that." Number 10 Your family hates her. This is an unfortunate situation, yes. But if you tell her, you'll only fuel the fire by m...

There are a lot of good women out there, even though it's not always easy to find them. Here's a list of women with traits you should actively look for — and that would make any guy happy: Miss Sweet Miss Sweet is a woman who's positive, content with her life, always upbeat — and just a blast to be around. She's a genuine person without a bitch bone in her body. She's always truly happy to see you and you find yourself looking forward to spending time with her. Miss Sweets are usually snapped up out of the dating market right away, so they're pretty rare. But if you can find one, you've got a real treasure on your hands. Miss Equality This type of woman is a true feminist — not one of the radical man-haters, or the hypocritical pseudo-feminists who think that equality means "I demand equal rights and an equal salary, but a man still has to pay for me." The Miss Equalitys of the world genuinely like men, and understand that equality means equ...