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Wondering if you've just met the perfect match? Here are some guidelines to help you decide if it's true love. After several dates, you feel you've found the perfect person. This is your dream mate , the one who will stand by you through thick and thin. You're ready to tie the knot at last. But is it love? Or is it a cheap imitation, like infatuation, lust, or even simple companionship ? Here are a few things to consider as you make the ultimate life-changing decision: 1. Do you want what's best for this person, or do you want what this person can do to help you? For example, if your mate has the chance to get a wonderful job in another city, are you willing to pull up stakes and move, or will you expect the job opportunity to get tossed aside for you? Love means putting the other person's needs ahead of your own, even when that involves sacrifice. While blind agreement to any difference of opinion is unrealistic and unreasonable, a thoughtful discussion of wh...

When a relationship ends, you should take the time to reflect on the reasons that it has ended so that you can learn from your mistakes. Breakups are a learning opportunity. If you take the time to examine the reasons for your breakup, then you may be able to avoid letting history repeat itself in your dating life . There are two sides to every coin – personal growth can be the flip side to your sadness over the loss of a relationship . What was the cause of your breakup? If you cheated on your mate , then you might be feeling very guilty and untrustworthy. You can learn from this experience that you have to work on being more honest. If you cheated, you probably were not happy in the relationship to begin with. However, you did the wrong thing by being unfaithful rather than honest. You should have ended the relationship, not strayed from it. Next time you are in a relationship, make sure that you really want to be there. It is not fair to the person that you are with for you to b...

When you want to have a deeper relationship with your dating partner, here are a few ideas which encourage closer emotional intimacy. In personal relationships , sometimes you get to the point where you’re ready to go to the next level. Instead of a casual dating situation, you want a deeper, more committed relationship that may last over time or even lead to marriage . But how do you take the next step without tumbling into an abyss? Here are a few tips that might prove helpful: 1. Spend more time together. Some dating relationships begin with the couple seeing each other once or twice a week. This works well when both people work or manage other responsibilities, like college or caring for a family. Over time, however, you may decide that you want to know more about the other person, and that involves spending more time together through the week or on weekends so that you can observe each other more often or experience a variety of lifestyle situations. This should be a shared de...

Couples should work on issues that could become major problems before they marry to increase the chances of a long and successful life together. You’ve finally met the love of your life, and you and your fiancée are planning a wedding . This is one of the most exciting times of your life, and you want everything to be perfect! Many times, however, couples in love easily overlook issues that could turn into major problems once the newness of love has worn off. With divorce rates as much as 50%, pre-marital counseling sessions are becoming more common. In the past, basically the only people who received counseling were couples whose marriages were already in deep trouble. Today, more and more couples are seeking out counselors and clergymen to offer advice on how to maintain a strong, healthy marriage. If two people marry , and neither of them has been married before, the major issues they will probably need to work on will include learning to adjust to the process of living with so...

Decide if you are getting married for the right reasons with these helpful tips. Would you like to know if you are ready to get married ? First, ask yourself if you are at the right place in your own life. Examine your motivations for wanting to get married. Don’t compromise because you need financial help, are lonely, or think that marriage will otherwise solve your problems. A spouse can be a source of support and companionship , but choosing the wrong person for you can only perpetuate your troubles. Before you get married, make sure you have built a solid foundation for your relationship with your partner. How well do you know one another? You should be aware of each other’s history, preferences, and lifestyle, and be able to discuss things openly. Ideally, you will have seen the person in a variety of situations and know how they cope and what to expect from them. Find out if you and your partner have the same expectations for your married lives together. Discuss and consid...

How can you know if you're ready to get married? Read on to find out tips and advice. The big day that you dreamed about for years has arrived. The person you love has ask to or agreed to marry you but how does one know if they are really ready to enter into the covenant of marriage? While volumes could be written to address this issue, this article will attempt to generate some thought on a variety of issues that a wise prospective bride or groom should contemplate before entering into the marriage agreement. It is wise for individuals to know themselves well before attempting to blend their lives with the life of another individual. Things that are important to know are what one considers as goals for his/her life. Things like finishing college, having a career, rearing children, taking care of extended family if need be, traveling as well a variety of other aspirations should be contemplated and taken into account when considering marriage. There should be clear communication o...

A painful break up can feel like the permanent end to a relationships, but it can also lead to a better foundation for a more intimate reunion. One of the most painful realities about romantic relationships is that they can only lead to two conclusions- a serious long-term commitment or a decision to break up. All of the good times, all of the intimate conversations, all of the shared experiences can end with a single argument or indiscretion. Relationships are fragile things by nature, which can only make a painful breakup that much more difficult to process. But sometimes the bond between two people can still be strong in spite of the 'failed relationship'. Some couples find that it's easier to deal with each other once the pressure of a serious romance is off. With fewer expectations, both are free to share mutual hobbies and interests as friends. The difficulty then shifts to coping with a 400 pound gorilla called the past. Following a painful breakup, a sense of frien...

Before entering into an affair, remember that the effects of infidelity are sometimes temporary, but many times it can be permanent. Many factors can ruin a relationship. Infidelity is one of the top reasons. Why is it that infidelity is hard to forgive and forget? The aftermath is usually longer than the actual affair. What are the effects of infidelity on a relationship? Trust Infidelity affects the trust level in a relationship. A relationship is a commitment to each other, together and apart. Infidelity breaks the trust that one has for their partner when they are apart. An affair is cloaked in location and activity lies. Therefore it is difficult to believe what one says. If there are children in the relationship, they are being lied to also. The time spent away with the lover, is time away from the children. One must lie to them about their absence. Older children are keener, thus they can see through and dissect lies. Too many disappointments can lead to resentment in children...

by Tracey Cox A number of subconscious triggers play a major role in the dating game, governing how we see each other. Find out how to avoid getting the push before you've said "hello"! Statistics differ but most experts agree it takes us between 90 seconds and four minutes to decide if we fancy someone - and as much as we'd like to think it all rests on that witty one-liner, it doesn't. 50% of the impression we get from someone comes through our body language 38% is from the tone, speed and inflection of our voice and a mere 7% is from what we're actually saying! First impressions This doesn't mean you can get away with droning on about your passion for snails and butterfly collection forever (content is crucial later), but it does mean you need to get the body language right straight away or they won't bother to stick around to find out how fascinating you are. If you're not already feeling horribly self-conscious, you should be. To make you com...

The test of any relationship comes with time: as we get older, so our views, aspirations and ambitions change. Relationship psychotherapist Paula Hall looks at how to help your relationship face the challenge. The first attraction Having things in common is often a major part of the initial attraction to our partners. Some anthropologists will tell you that at an unconscious level we even go so far as to choose partners who look like us. As a relationship develops, each shared experience gives us the chance to check out if we're compatible. Do we share the same taste in music? Do we laugh at the same jokes? Do we like the same people? If we seem to have plenty in common, we'll begin to explore each other's aspirations to see if we have a shared future together. What our ambitions say about us When we begin to talk about our dreams and ambitions, we're sharing the things that are closest to our hearts. We're saying something about our personal values and about our p...

Every relationship needs a solid foundation if it's to survive all life can throw at it. Relationship psychotherapist Paula Hall looks at the seven essentials that spell success. 1. Love yourself Unless you love yourself, it's hard for you to believe that anyone else will. Self-esteem is important for a healthy relationship. When you truly like yourself, in spite of any failings and weaknesses you may have, you'll feel confident. And when you feel confident and secure within yourself, you can enjoy being with your partner for the joy they bring to your life, not because you feel you need them to survive. For tips on building confidence see the Improving confidence site. If you've had bad experiences in the past, it's worth working through these issues with a trusted friend or counsellor. It can be tempting to lean on your partner and rely on them for reassurance, but the stronger you are as an individual, the stronger and more equal your relationship will be. 2. L...