[ dReamyComposuRe ]

BY RIANN SMITH You're one half of a blissful twosome -- and proud of it -- but c'mon, sometimes you miss that free-agent fabulousness you used to flaunt. Fear not, we're gonna tell you the ways to blend some saucy autonomy into your "taken" title. Some women, bless 'em, find The Ultimate Guy and are sooooo happy, proclaiming, "He completes me!" at every opportunity. And they really mean it, without a twinge of irony. But other girls (especially fun fearless females like you who had exciting lives before accruing a boyfriend) can get antsy about assimilating into the world of attached women . Yes, you love your man and have absolutely every intention of staying with him. But sometimes, that crazy, sultry, freewheeling single girl you were pre-him wants to sneak out. And that freaks you out. What's going on here? "Even though you want to be in a mature relationship, it can be a bittersweet transition because it feels like you're lettin...

BY RIANN SMITH Naturally, you'd be with a hot, confident, chick magnet of a boyfriend. But it's hard not to get steamed when other girls find him just a tad too irresistible. Here, expert coping tips: Resist the Urge to Bitch-Slap Trying to stop (or karate-chop) every girl who smiles at your guy will only make him want to run. Instead, feel proud that he's getting attention. "When other women have positive reactions to your man, it's an opportunity for you to see him with fresh eyes," says Nancy Rosenbach, Ph.D., a psychologist in New York City. "You're reminded, Damn, he's hot! And he's going home with me." Note: When you leave the party or bar on your babe's arm, you are entitled to give those horny hyenas a big, smug smile. Let Him Check Out Other Chicks It's one thing when girls are drawn to your man -- but what about when he obviously notices them? Before you go psycho or accuse your guy of overogling, remember this: You ...

Never stopped to question the dating code of conduct everyone you know follows? Well, it's time to start. Right here, right now. It's anyone's guess where they originally came from, but there are some universally accepted relationship mandates that we all think we should abide by. A few of these couple commandments are actually valid (as in: your best friend's boyfriend is off-limits); others are totally bogus and your relationship will be better off if you break them. "Instead of blindly adhering to a prefab and possibly outdated standard, it's smart to consider how couples really function in today's world and act accordingly," says Los Angeles psychotherapist Lynn Ianni, Ph.D. The trick is figuring out which love laws help bolster your connection...and which ones should be banned. Not quite sure? Don't worry. Cosmo has compiled the five dating doctrines that you need to ditch this instant! Rule #1: You can't check out...

BY ESTHER CRAIN It's one of the most nerve-rattling-and necessary events in every good relationship. Before you utter "Honey, we have to...," crib our convo notes. You can charm the pants off anyone with your finely honed sugar lips and defuse most potentially deadly showdowns with your razor-sharp wit. Still, somehow, when it comes time to initiate the relationship conversation, none of that makes a damn difference. You're left tongue-tied and nerve-racked. That's because that couple-status report inevitably puts you in the cliched nagging-woman-pointing-at-her-stopwatch position -- and him on the utmost defensive . Someone is bound to get freaked out, hurt or misled. Which is why we're here to help. Because the check-in is a necessary milestone in any growing relationship, you'll have to face the music at some point. We've come up with a plan for making the commitment conversation a lot easier on both of you -- and it's actually effective ...

BY ELLEN FEIN AND SHERRIE SCHNEIDER Getting the man you want to propose -- and then turning that proposal into an actual wedding date -- can be a tougher deal to close than a media merger . Of course, if you've been following The Rules (the set of dating guidelines outlined in our book, The Rules: Time Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right , Warner Books, 1995) from the moment you met Mr. Right and he's said he loves you, he will propose -- sometimes in a matter of a few months but usually within 15 months. (He may have his own rules about dating for four seasons before popping the question, and there's nothing wrong with that.) Don't Break These Rules Following The Rules means letting him pursue you -- not seeing him more than two or three times a week, refusing to go away with him on week-long vacations, and not moving in with him or crowding him in any way. If you've done all these things, you've actually helped him fall in lov...

BY NICOLE BELAND Looking to be an exclusive couple? Dying to get engaged? Cosmo tells you how to fast-forward your union...without freaking him out. In a perfect world, all romantic relationships would sail smoothly from sort-of-dating to madly-in-love. More often than not, though, the road to Coupleville is dotted with commitment detours , ones that your man seems unable to navigate. Carrie*, 26, has been with her boyfriend, Jeff, for four fun-filled months. But now she's ready to kick it up a notch on the serious scale. "I want a more defined relationship," she explains. "I'm scared that if I don't do something to take us forward, Jeff won't either because, well, he's a guy." You can relate, right? Who doesn't want to get closer to a man you're crazy about? But pushing for a tighter bond is a tricky task. After all, many men are perfectly happy keeping things between the two of you the same...indefinitely. So how do you give your love...

BY REED TUCKER No matter how many conversations and Q&A sessions you've shared, every guy has certain details about his life that he considers off-limits -- even to you. Learning about them now can actually help you understand him better and keep you from freaking out if you accidentally trip on them one day. So at the risk of being hunted down, killed, and dried for jerky by my fellow males, I reveal the hidden truths your man doesn't want you to know. 1. He has a stash of porn. I know what you're thinking: "Not my man." But it's a cold hard fact: Even the nicest guys like nasty entertainment. "Porn lets me explore sexual avenues that are unavailable to me in real life," says Adam, a bona fide nice guy from Washington , D.C. Not convinced? Do the math. Triple-X films are a multibillion-dollar-a-year industry. That's about one video for every grown-up man and woman in America . But when was the last time you ...

BY MARTIN KIHN Making a romantic commitment is like riding the Boomerang at Great Escape -- it's too expensive, it takes forever to get there, and there's always that moment right at the top when you think, I am going to die. Okay, commitment isn't exactly like the Boomerang: It has no height requirement. Don't get me wrong. I'm a born romantic. I like to cry. I often do. But two months before I was to marry Julie, I started feeling -- something. I couldn't figure it out. Zoning out at work, ambling into traffic. It wasn't until I felt my heart racing in a stress-free yoga class that I realized what was up: I was freaking out. Whether it's walking down the aisle or just picking up a toothbrush for her place, men freak. And it can be a jarring journey for the women in our lives -- you may well wonder why your once-steady man is now a raving lunatic. It's a craziness that sets in when we sense we're slipping closer to commitment . But just because...

I bribed my braver friends to break the male code of silence and fill you in on the unmistakable signs a guy's gaga for you. If he does any of the following, he's pretty much saying, you know, that phrase. You catch him staring at your eyes. The eyes are more than just windows to a man's soul, they can Men always ogle the objects they desire -- it's the reason you're always busting us cleavage-peeping. So consider: With all that eye candy out there, if it's you he's staring at, his affection runs deep. There are two types of I-love-you looks. There's the secret stare (you'll have to catch him in the act). "Watching my girlfriend at a party allows me a private moment when I can pinch myself and wonder how I deserve this amazing person in my life -- a perspective I can't get when she's right there in front of me," says Patrick, 30. Then there's the steady gaze. Guys are guarded when it comes to showing emotion. If they lock eyes...