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First dates are a necessary evil in the lives of singles. They combine the pressure of job interviews with the artificiality of plastic flowers. You’re willing to do practically ANYTHING to make a good impression; all the while you’re observing each move your date makes with the suspicious air of a judge looking down his/her nose at a defendant. With all the high hopes, expectations and fears men and women bring to the table on a first date, it’s a wonder anyone makes it to the second these days. To aid in the progress of l’amour au courant, here are some first date do’s and don’ts to follow: DO: Be yourself. Let me amend that to be your BEST self. This is not the time to admit to all the vulnerabilities and insecurities that regularly beset you, nor to share the story of how the shock of catching your fiancé in bed with your brother landed you in a mental institution. Trot out the tried-and-true tales that showcase your sweet and sparkling personality. Be a good list...

by J.K. Truitt In the world of dating there are no regulations that help us single folk make sure we are getting it right, and the absence of some sort of written doctrine results in a myriad of problems, some of which cause irreparable harm to a prospective relationship. One that seems to pop up again and again in my dating life occurs when the check hits the table. Money is a funny thing, the root of many of the world's evils and the cause of many fights and breakups. So with the understanding that I cannot speak for every guy (since some are cheaper, or more frugal or just plain weird), I am a going to spell the bill situation out as I see it. Date One: Yes, Make the Offer Most men want to treat on the first date . He wants to show that he is in fact a gentleman. This fine young man will reach for the check when the conversation has settled a bit, pretend to check the figures, and take out his wallet. What should you do? Ask if you can contribute by paying the tip or ...

The old-fashioned new relationship trend by Sherry Amatenstein Returning home to Birmingham, Alabama, after grad school last year, Satina Richardson was determined to "work on her personal life," and by that she really meant "find a husband." Obsessed with wearing that white dress within one year's time, Satina began her very own " Operation: Matrimony ." Since there were no hot prospects on her horizon, the then 29-year-old opted to date a jerk she'd long been avoiding ‑- just for the sake of dating someone . Not surprisingly, the relationship was a disaster from day one, yet she still hung in there waiting for him to propose. And did he? Yep. He proposed to the woman he'd been seeing behind Satina's back. Why did a smart woman like Satina do something as stupid as wasting time with someone so wrong for her? Well, while her philosophy may seem old-fashioned, what she did is more common than you'd think. And who knows? It migh...

Want to know the secret? Motivational speaker and author Neen James shares her wisdom on how to nurture and protect those special relationships that are so important to our daily lives. Stay in touch with those you care for Make time to remind people they are special. Write a handwritten note occasionally, send an email, SMS message or phone them. If you find yourself short of time create a bulk catch-up email to family and friends letting them know what you have been doing and that you have been thinking of them. Make the most of how you spend your time Surround yourself with positive people who inspire you and don’t give your time away to those who you don’t enjoy being with. If you have a family or live with someone (i.e. partner or room mate), ask them this question each week: ‘What activities do you have planned this week?’ This will allow you to align your calendars, avoid frustrations and plan time together. Protect your relationships Don’t allow yourself to be in...

In this one we take the blinders off for an opposite look at some commonly accepted ideas about relationships. You’ll be glad we did since many relationship difficulties stem from these widely-held beliefs. By Ambrose Diaz What kind of standards do you hold your relationship up to? Generally we have instincts that tell us whether we're in a positive relationship or not, but a lot of people live by some rather misguided perceptions of what a healthy relationship is. These relationship myths are quite pervasive in our culture and have been passed down for years. Let's take this opportunity to clear the air and do some relationship 'myth busting'. Love Is Enough Oooh, we're starting with a biggie. I'm a hopeless (helpless / hapless) romantic myself. It would be really nice if this one were true. We'd like to think that the love between two people can surmount all kinds of odds and obstacles, but there are severe limitations to that kind of think...

Compromise is good but being yourself and sticking to the things that define who you are is a critical component of a healthy relationship. These guideposts help you protect the "me" in "we". By Kelly Jones There's nothing creepier than seeing two lovers with identical haircuts wearing matching jackets and corresponding His and Her outfits walking down the street together. I shudder to think what they're wearing underneath. Although being in a relationship requires the occasional compromise and concession, it doesn't mean you need to change your style or behaviour to match your partner's. In fact, keeping your individuality and encouraging your guy or gal to do the same can mean the difference between a healthy relationship and a doomed one. Embrace Your Quirks Woodworking, trampoline, pilates, soap-making, forensic science, camping — whatever your hobbies are, it's important that you keep at them. Your passions not only help define ...

by Dr. Brenda Shoshanna Without effetive communication, no relationship stands a chance. We talk (and listen) all day long, but only a small part of our communication takes place in words. Most of the time we believe the other is listening to and understanding what we saying, but by and large, this is not the case. Most of the time the other person is planning what he or she will say back, or tuning out, or building up some kind of fantasy that has nothing to do with what is going on at that moment. When we are fighting, we want more than ever to be understood and words go flying back and forth like arrows. At this point, resolution to the problem can be far away. So what are the secrets of effective communication? How do we truly get what we want and give each other what we need? Let's look at the top two communication problems and see how they can be solved. Once this is done, you'll be off to a wonderful start in building the kind of relationship you have always wa...

Finding your perfect match Most people have an idea of their 'type' when it comes to meeting someone new — tall, dark and handsome; slim, blonde and athletic; cuddly, friendly and reliable. These are all characteristics of the kind of person we are looking for, and usually take into account physical attributes, personality type and emotional traits. But what about the 'type' of relationship we are looking for? This could range from short-term commitment, to someone to grow old and dribbly with, and yet for most people, the importance of a match in this department is not fully considered until things are well established, relationship-wise. We've all heard stories of the seemingly perfect couple who, to everyone's surprise, go their separate ways after years of being together, because one wants kids and the other doesn't. Ever. Or the couple that splits because he wants more quality time with her, and she wants to spread her wings? Classic rela...

by Delphine Hirsh From The Girls' Guide to Surviving a Break Up Most of you are going to do better during the day than you do at night, particularly the later at night it gets. You've probably already noticed this phenomenon. It's just true that the wee hours are harder and we're going to have to work with that. One simple but beautiful thing to remember is that no matter how bleak the middle of the night seems, dawn is on its way and can't be stopped. Don'ts 1. Do Not Call Him Whether or not you should contact him in general is a larger issue, but it's never a good idea to call him in the middle of the night. (For these purposes, the middle of the night is any time from 11pm to 8am.) Take, for example, my friend Lucy. She will keep you on the phone for hours going over why she is not-not-not going to call her ex even though she is dying to do it. Eventually she will say the coast is clear and she is going to bed. By now it's usually around...

That's Gotta Hurt -- or Does It? by Amy Helmes and Meg Leder "Sayonara." "Get lost." "We need to talk..." Whether you're looking to lessen the sting or hit 'em with your best shot, the following techniques are sure to accomplish the trickiest part of any relationship: ending it. The "We Need to Talk" Talk A State of the Union address is recommended for anyone wishing to secede, so to speak, with some semblance of dignity. Pros: Talking things over can soothe hurt feelings and potentially salvage the friendship. Cons: Brace yourself for histrionics, notes Lynda Twardowski, 31, from Traverse City, MI. "When I finally managed to peel the guy off me, tears streamed down his face and he babbled like a madman." Ouch factor: Three Band-Aids The "Dear John" Who needs a messy confrontation when a note, email or well-timed voice mail can spare you from having to witness the devasta...

At some point in our lives, we want to quit "the game" and settle down with that one special lady. Marriage is a word that we all dread until suddenly, one day, it all makes sense and you pop the big question. The big day -- your wedding -- is probably one of the most stressful events you will have to go through. And quite understandably, there may be a voice in the back of your mind asking, ”What the hell am I doing?” Approximately half of all marriages end in divorce , so it's sensible to double-check that your very last pickup is the perfect woman for you. Your buddies may tell you to look at your potential mother-in-law to see what your future wife will become -- a classic warning sign. But if that's not enough, here are a few more signs that you should consider calling off the wedding. She Has Pre-wedding Stress Granted, the wedding is a very stressful affair -- we'll give her that much. But as you wave goodbye to all the joys and memories of sing...

Signs that your relationship is over, or is in serious trouble. There are vital relationship signs that indicate your relationship is in trouble and it might be better for you, and your partner, if you end it. Here’s how to know. Toxic disrespect Putting you down, outrageous flirting that makes you feel uncomfortable and humiliated and hurtful remarks that aren't easily forgotten are signs you partner lacks respect for you. You need to be clear about what you will and will not tolerate from your partner. If your partner does not respect you — it's time to go. Abuse Your partner should be there to pick you up when you're down — not put the boot in. If your partner is physically, or emotionally abusive, negative and critical — you don't need to put up with it. And remember that physical abuse is a criminal offence. No trust Trust is vital. Some relationships therapists say it's the backbone of a healthy relationship. If you can't believe what your p...

As your relationship with a romantic (or religious ) interest has developed, you find your old friends falling away, while family members remark on how you don't seem like yourself. Are you losing yourself to this odd, and ultimately destructive, relationship? Before you can regain your individuality and strength, you'll need to determine if the relationship is what's taking it away, and put an end to the destructive cycle . For the purposes of the article, we'll alternate between male and female gender examples ("him" in one step, "her" in the next). Steps Evaluate honestly: Is this relationship progressing in a healthy manner, or is it unhealthy? Be objective as you analyze how things have changed since this relationship began: Are you enjoying elevated esteem from your friends, or are they looking at you sideways? Are your family relationships suddenly filled with tension, every time your beloved's name comes up? While stressed relati...