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by Sherry Argov You've heard that nice guys finish last, but what about nice girls? In this excerpt from her book Why Men Marry Bitches , author Sherry Argov reveals why men actually prefer a confident, secure woman (Argov's definition of the word bitch ) to one who lets her man take the reins in a relationship. She surveyed real men , who spilled exactly what makes or breaks their opinion of the women they meet — and it turns out that having your own life, making your own plans and not letting him win all the time only makes you more attractive. So who says being a "bitch" is a bad thing? Not these guys! Here's what they had to say: "The worst thing a woman can do is see a guy every night of the week. That's how she becomes his good-time girl on his 'reserve list.' What will happen is, the guy will start coming over at nine o'clock and then he'll leave by ten-thirty. If he gets access or what he wants from her anytime he wants it, he won...

Signs that your relationship is over, or is in serious trouble. There are vital relationship signs that indicate your relationship is in trouble and it might be better for you, and your partner, if you end it. Here’s how to know. Toxic disrespect Putting you down, outrageous flirting that makes you feel uncomfortable and humiliated and hurtful remarks that aren't easily forgotten are signs you partner lacks respect for you. You need to be clear about what you will and will not tolerate from your partner. If your partner does not respect you — it's time to go. Abuse Your partner should be there to pick you up when you're down — not put the boot in. If your partner is physically, or emotionally abusive, negative and critical — you don't need to put up with it. And remember that physical abuse is a criminal offence. No trust Trust is vital. Some relationships therapists say it's the backbone of a healthy relationship. If you can't believe what your p...

As your relationship with a romantic (or religious ) interest has developed, you find your old friends falling away, while family members remark on how you don't seem like yourself. Are you losing yourself to this odd, and ultimately destructive, relationship? Before you can regain your individuality and strength, you'll need to determine if the relationship is what's taking it away, and put an end to the destructive cycle . For the purposes of the article, we'll alternate between male and female gender examples ("him" in one step, "her" in the next). Steps Evaluate honestly: Is this relationship progressing in a healthy manner, or is it unhealthy? Be objective as you analyze how things have changed since this relationship began: Are you enjoying elevated esteem from your friends, or are they looking at you sideways? Are your family relationships suddenly filled with tension, every time your beloved's name comes up? While stressed relati...

by Robert Hetrick, Ph.D. Have you been hurt by violent words? Most of us have. When verbally assaulted, we recoil, and sometimes, we counter attack. We perceive the attack as coming from outside ourselves. But, in truth, the attack also comes from within. It comes from the meanings we add to the speaker's words. Someone once said, "We have met the enemy, and he is us!" When we are hurt, or upset by other's words, we must look to ourselves as "self-abusers." It doesn't feel this way when we are accosted, but give me a couple of minutes to tell you how self-inflicted pain works in this situation. This article seeks to convince you that the ultimate cause of your reaction to other's lack of kindness, is you. And, if you "buy" my pitch, you just might quit wasting time and energy blaming another for your hurt, anger, or sadness when they speak cruelly. Then you will be freed to figure out how you let someone get to you....

Do you often find that you involve yourself in relationships that disappoint you? Are you not getting what you need and desire from the people you choose to date? Does there always seem to be something missing? If you answered yes to one or all of those questions, you could very well be addicted to disappointing and bad relationships, setting yourself up for failure without even knowing it. There are ways you can determine whether you are addicted or not, and ways you can break the addiction and start getting what you have always wanted from a relationship. Before we cover the symptoms of addiction, it is important that we cover the dangers of staying in a bad relationship . Since bad relationships lack what one or both partners' need, stress becomes a regular part of your life, as well a gradual lowering of your self-esteem, which will make you unable to focus on your career and personal life with the concentration and care needed, in order for you to be happy. The constant st...

By Bob Strauss Before we talk about dating only hotties, let’s consider the animal kingdom for a moment: “The Egyptian vulture is a beautiful bird with white plumage and a yellow head. Yellow heads are very sexy among Egyptian vultures, the yellower the better. Unfortunately, the way they get those yellow heads is by eating the dung of other animals—sheep, goats, and cows. Which just goes to show, amazing looks might be a sign of an unsavory habit.” The next time you ogle that flawlessly beautiful specimen of female pulchritude at the coffee shop, consider these words of wisdom from Katherine Gould, author of A Tiger in the Bedroom: Lessons from Mother Nature’s Sex Shop: While it’s unlikely that the object of your affection has been feasting on you-know-what, focusing exclusively on her appearance may be a sign that you need to bring some higher brain functions — such as intelligence, intuition, and common sense — into play. How can you tell that you’re too obsessed with looks, over...

By Dalma Heyn When Kim found out that Peter, her boyfriend of six months, was sleeping with another woman, she threw up. When she finally pulled herself together long enough to co nfront him, he looked at her quizzically, like her dog did when she gently pushed him off her pillow. He didn’t understand. “Like, did we ever promise we’d be faithful?” he asked. No, they’d never shaken on it, but their involvement had led her to assume an exclusivity that she now saw was one-sided. Hurled into a country song about a good-hearted woman in love with a good-time man, Kim realized that she’d opened herself up to someone who lacked a heart . She ushered him out of her home by saying, “You’re right. You never promised you’d be faithful. Now, let’s end this, OK?” With that same baffled-puppy look she once found endearing, he played dumb a second time. “ But why? ” A New Kind of Guy Peter is a Drama King. Drama Kings are perfectly attractive, often successful men who look like other guys — guys who...

Our interactions with women are as organic as the cosmos -- we chat them up in the grocery store, we flirt in the mall, we talk over the information superhighway, and we invite them into our lives as girlfriends, conquests and objects of our affection. Some women are of the free variety -- free to act, free to think and, most importantly, free of a sordid history that may be putting up emotional roadblocks. They are the women we men can learn to be more brazen from. Others are of the reserved variety -- reserved with their actions and their opinions, reserved as to the limits of their adventuresome spirit, and reserved with their displays of affection. These are the women we learn to be polite and courteous from. Then there's the girl next door. She's all the things we want her to be -- sweet, honest, pretty, wholesome, and, hidden under a shroud of good manners, dirty and sexual. The perfect woman to settle down with. But wait a minute... she's acting strange. You thought ...

By Andrea Madison You're past the early stages of your relationship and the two of you are getting pretty close. You are probably thinking that it's time to open up and share all those intimate details of your past and present. Well, stop right there. Up until now, you've probably been told that honesty is the best policy in a relationship -- and most of the time it is. However, there are certain things about you, your family and your personal history that you don't need to share with your woman -- ever. Now, I'm certainly not advocating lying, but rather selectively omitting some information that might not work in your favor. The following are 10 things that you should definitely not tell your girlfriend, even if she asks. In fact, mentioning any of the following would probably have her say, "I wish you hadn't told me that." Number 10 Your family hates her. This is an unfortunate situation, yes. But if you tell her, you'll only fuel the fire by m...

by Sherry Amatenstein -- Excerpted from Love Lessons from Bad Breakups It's one thing to be aware that you have negative romantic patterns you continually repeat; another entirely to actually stop those self-defeating behaviors . The good news: With will and work, change is possible. I picked the brains of a variety of leading therapists and experts to provide you with tips that prove an old dog can learn new tricks: Take a Cue from Gloria Gaynor. Whether or not there is a partner at your side, you will survive. Making it though a breakup without cracking up (at least not permanently) gives you an underbelly of strength. It may not yet be of industrial-strength size proportions but it's a start. To coin another lyric associated with a pop culture icon, once you emotionally own that you're gonna make it after all you no longer need a lover to make you feel whole. Ergo you no longer need to act in the old self-defeating ways. Dr. Alma Halbert Bond, PhD, author of I Marrie...

BY ALLISON FABIAN Don't declare war every time your man messes up -- if you're into him long-term, here's how (and when) to pick a fight. "Constantly riding your mate will put your entire relationship at risk," warns Sam Horn, author of Tongue Fu! How to Deflect, Disarm, and Defuse Any Verbal Conflict (St. Martin's). "The key is to strike a balance between the battles you choose to fight and those you choose to let go." Ask yourself these six key questions when determining which conflicts are worth waging war over. 1. What's really bugging you? He shows up for dinner at your place an hour late because his basketball game went into overtime, and then he spends 10 minutes bragging that his jump shots would have made Michael Jordan slink off the court in shame. Meanwhile, the only shot you're thinking about is the one you'd like to take at him. Hold it just a second! Although he should have called and he still hasn't apologized, you need...