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For as long as there have been men and women, there have been dating and dating rituals . Being the sly hunters we are, men have built up a reservoir of knowledge and cunning over the millennia on how to successfully woo the ladies over the first few weeks of a courtship. There are many fish in the sea, and there are many baiting procedures you can use to reel them in. And though many women may be aware of some of our strategies, they surely don't know of all of them. Let's keep it that way, gentlemen. Keep these timeless secret dating tips under your hat and enjoy the learning process. 10. Wait three days before calling back The idea behind this dating rule of thumb is to make sure that your new squeeze doesn't think you're desperate to see her. And it's become a golden rule because it often works. Many women know the dating game, and want to see if their new man can play it. Prove that you can by keeping it cool, and resisting the urge to follow up on a meeting t...

Men love women. The way they look, smell, walk and talk are just some of the reasons why we consider them a divine species. Yet we can't live with them, and we certainly can't live without them... ...for the most part anyway, because perfect, they are not. And upon serious analysis, I've discovered the top 10 things women do that drive men to the brink of insanity. 10. Pretend to be virtuous A recurring theme among many women is that they try to place themselves under a "holier than thou" light, never admitting that they fooled around or dividing their number of boyfriends by five. Now, we applaud those ladies who truly are innocent and pure , but the rest should stop trying to water down their past. Women are allowed to have just as much fun as guys, and they should find a man who can appreciate that. 9. Criticize other women Why is it that many women can't make a simple compliment toward another woman? They love to nitpick about everything from weight to ...

There are certain things a man never wants to hear from his lady. "Let's go shopping" is one of them, as those words usually herald a whole afternoon wasted near the women's fitting rooms. "You're acting like your father" is another, much harsher statement. Even worse, "You're acting like my father"; that one just hurts. Below, however, are the most fearsome, most harrowing combinations of words a female can utter. 10. I've been thinking... If she actually tells you she's been thinking, it's serious. And you can bet it involves marriage, cohabitation or the bitter end. It can take many forms, such as: "Why do you love me?" and "Have you ever thought about the future?" Again, have a brilliant exit plan at hand. A severed finger, for instance. 9. Be a man. Nothing is quite as injurious as having your very manhood questioned. You could give in to her shame tactics and do what she wants , or deflect it by s...

By Rachel Sarah When I entered the dating world again — as the 32-year-old single mom of a toddler — my time constraints and frumpy wardrobe weren’t the only things that stressed me out. It was also money. Dating can be expensive—even before you’ve said “hello” to a prospective mate. The monthly online dating fee was worth it, but it was already a stretch for me. How was I going to pay for dinner and a movie, too? Eager to get out, I was forced to be creative, and soon I discovered that even when your money is tight, it doesn’t mean you have to sit home alone and watch Grey’s Anatomy . Make that first date an unusual one Forget the expensive Italian restaurant or impressing your date with center row theater tickets. Doing something unusual can make it easier to socialize, and also take financial pressure out of the equation. According to Diane Mapes, the author of How to Date in a Post-Dating World , it’s especially important to keep first-date expenses down. “Money can be such a huge...

By Robert W. Harris Don’t get me wrong: In general, men are in awe of women’s date-night conversation skills, which, hands down, are far superior to their own. Even so, though, you gals do still insert your stiletto’d foot in your mouth every once in awhile—or, conversely, miss prime opportunities to make a remark that would raise your stock in our eyes. Curious whether you’ve got the right choice phrases in your back pocket and whether you’re avoiding the bad ones? Check out this list of things guys love (and hate) to hear on a date for the lowdown. 5 things men love to hear on a date... “Then what happened?” It’s human: A man likes to think that his life is reasonably interesting. And while interrupting him, changing the subject, or acting bored are well-known nails in the coffin, it’s not enough to just sit there, smile, and say, “Uh-huh” every few seconds. Actively egg him on with comments like, “You’re kidding! What happened next?” or “Go on...” That way, he’ll know you’re genuin...

By Gilda Carle, Ph.D. Most of us — even the not-so-jealous types — know that feeling of, “Is my sweetheart really working late… or could this person be two-timing me?” I’ve counseled many individuals dealing with this concern, so let me share my knowledge with you about the signs that someone is cheating (or seriously contemplating it). Use this information and insight—and either stop worrying or have a serious talk with your partner! Sign #1: Your sweetie keeps you a secret from his/her family & friends Cheaters keep you in the dark while they play in the light. Your relationship won’t work if you’re getting what I call the Shadow Treatment. The Shadow Treatment means that you are often kept waiting in the wings while your mate is out socializing. Think about it: Are there gatherings of friends, family reunions or workplace parties that you are not invited to? Do you only meet some of your honey’s network of friends? If you are kept on the sidelines, there’s probably a good reaso...

By Bob Strauss Despite what you’ve been taught in school, that small voice in the back of your mind isn’t necessarily your conscience—it may be the last fully functioning piece of your brain, desperately trying to tell you that the guy or gal you’ve been seeing isn’t even close to being your soul mate. As unwelcome as this conclusion is, isn’t it better to come to it by yourself rather than being lectured about it by an expert? No? Well, in that case, read on for a list of signs that it’s time to get back into the trenches and continue that trudge toward true love. Your date is devoted to another. “On a regular basis, he spoke to his mother more than he did to me,” says Bethany from Minneapolis. “He talked to her every day, and then he would compare me to her. She has him on such a short leash that he hasn’t ever made a major decision without her!” Your date overspends, and you’re stingy. “If she shops to make herself feel good, and he feels better when money is saved for the future...

By Karen Salmansohn Throughout the ages, there’s been one question that has consistently stumped even the wisest of prophets and gurus: “How do you know when it’s love... and how do you know when you should dump the chump?” I say: Don’t waste precious time-ticking-time with the wrong partner! Here’s a list of relationship-clarifying questions to better serve daters who are newly head-over-heels... So you can suss out sooner versus later if you’ve found the love of your life—or if you should run for your life! Good looks fade. But a bad personality is forever. If you took away the physical attraction and hot sex, would you still want to be friends with this person? Does your new partner tell you outright that he or she is not ready to be in a serious relationship? If so, listen up! What you hear is what you get! You need at least one VERY to fall in love. For example, it helps if your honey is VERY smart, or VERY good-looking, VERY caring or VERY funny, etc. Basically, you need to s...

Do you fly off the handle at the slightest thing or are you a peacemaker who cools things down? Find out what your conflict style is from Relationship psychotherapist Paula Hall . Stuck in a rut? Many couples notice that their arguments seem to follow familiar patterns. They may always erupt from nowhere, for example, or gradually build up over a period of days. As individuals, most of us will have developed a particular conflict style, learnt from years of watching how others manage their differences. Understanding your style can help you act differently and get out of 'argument ruts'. Which style are you? Here are some of the most common styles of arguing. Perhaps you'll recognise yourself in some of them. The peacemaker - you don't like arguments and see it as your responsibility to cool things down and sort things out as soon as possible, even if this means ignoring your personal needs or not having your opinions heard. The defensive attacker - you believe that th...

Many arguments occur for the wrong reasons and get out of hand easily. This checklist by relationship psychotherapist Paula Hall can help you to avoid rows - when you next feel a conflict brewing, just ask yourself these questions. Your feelings Are you overreacting because you're tired and stressed? Could the anger you feel be at someone or something else? Are you hormonal at the moment and feeling unusually irritable or sensitive? Is your mood being affected by illness? Your partner's feelings Could your partner be overreacting because they're tired or stressed? Do you know that they're currently feeling angry about something else? Is your partner either struggling with health issues or being affected by hormonal changes? Your conscience Are you feeling defensive about what your partner has said or done because you feel guilty? Could you be feeling defensive because you want to avoid having to say you're sorry? Are you bearing a grudge against your partner for so...

The next time you find yourself in an argument with your partner, keep in mind the following tips from relationship psychotherapist Paula Hall so you can bring the conflict to an end swiftly - and peacefully. Abnormal behaviour It's important to accept that arguments are a normal part of relationships. We're all different and where there's difference, there will be disagreement. But when arguing seems to be a way of life and leaves you feeling exhausted, hurt or wondering if you want to stay in the relationship, it's time to call a truce and sort things out. The first step towards doing this is to understand what you're really arguing about and get an insight into your conflict style . After you've looked at both these areas, you can use some of the techniques below to help you sort things out. Some can be done alone; others need your partner's cooperation. Be self-aware Self-awareness and self-responsibility are the first steps in sorting out and avoiding...

Although living together is now acceptable, 60 per cent of cohabiting couples still get married after a few years. Relationship psychotherapist Paula Hall looks at why we still marry in the face of divorce statistics and how to make sure it's the right choice for you. "Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution yet" - Mae West Good reasons to marry Because you're in love. Although love shouldn't be the only reason to marry, it's an important ingredient in the most successful relationships. To make a commitment. You've decided that you want to be together forever, knowing each other's faults and failings. It's part of your culture. The ceremony of marriage is an integral part of your cultural or religious beliefs and an essential part of your core value system. To start a family. You've both enjoyed a secure and committed relationship for some time and feel marriage is the best environment in which to bring up...

Absence makes the heart grow fonder - or so the saying goes. But what if the time away is prolonged, or one partner is more relaxed about the situation? Relationship psychotherapist Paula Hall has some tips to help you stay together even when apart. Different views of distance How couples cope with being apart largely depends on how they feel about the separation. Here are some common interpretations: What's the big deal? - if you were brought up in a family where absence was the norm, it may be that periods apart are no problem. It's the thin end of the wedge - perhaps in your past someone left saying it was temporary, but didn't come back. You may see a period of separation as the beginning of the end. If you loved me, you'd stay - love is linked to being physically near and any threat to that is also a threat to your emotional security. But it's not for long - it might be your nature to look at life in the long term and see a bigger picture and, therefore, y...

Holding onto anger, bitterness and resentment, can damage your relationship, your self-esteem and even your health. Relationship psychotherapist Paula Hall looks at the importance of letting go. Why we get angry Disagreements and tension are bound to arise when we live with someone. The key to a successful relationship is learning to express our feelings and resolve such conflicts, and most of us develop our own ways of coping with these minor frustrations. Sometimes, however, overwhelming feelings of anger can consume us. These may be caused by a single major event, such as the discovery of an affair, or can be the result of something that leaves us feeling let down on a regular basis, such as lack of attention. Causes of anger Some situations are more likely to leave us struggling with strong feelings of anger than others. When it's a shock - when a partner does something unexpected it can take a long time for feelings of anger to recede. You may also feel confused and betrayed...

Falling out of love can sometimes be just as easy as falling in love. Working out whether it's just a phase or if your relationship has reached the end of the line is one of life's hardest decisions. Relationship psychotherapist Paula Hall asks the difficult questions. The pros and cons When people try to decide if their relationship's over, they often find themselves weighing up the pros and cons. On the pros side they put all their partner's positive character traits, the happy memories and the advantages of being together. On the cons they list all the things they don't like about their partner, the painful memories and the reasons why living together sometimes feels impossible. The problem with this system is that they're never measuring like for like. For example, when listing personal qualities, how many negatives would it take to counteract being an excellent mother? And how many happy memories does it take to outweigh an affair? Unfortunately, there...

You and your guy may be a better match than PB&J, but that won’t make him propose. Psychologist Alon Gratch, PhD, reveals the tipping factor that will. It has been reported recently that supermodel Gisele is less than happy about her ex Leonardo DiCaprio’s alleged engagement to his current girlfriend (which he’s denied). It doesn’t matter that Gisele is supposedly hot and heavy with her new sweetheart, NFL quarterback Tom Brady. Every chick knows how hard it is when she puts in serious time with a guy who refuses to commit... until he moves on to his next girlfriend, and then suddenly, he’s springing for a rock. Women assume that a guy will pop the question once he finds someone he’s compatible with, i.e., The One. But that’s not enough to push him over the edge, according to clinical psychologist Alon Gratch, PhD, author of If Men Could Talk . What, then, does it take? “Being ready,” says Gratch. “In my 25 years of experience working with men as a relationship therapist, it’s 49 p...

In the beginning, guys go out of their way to show they care with blatant, over-the-top gestures. Learn why you shouldn't panic when, over time, his actions take a surprising turn. When you first start dating a guy, it's easy to fall hard and fast. The reason: He's on an all-out mission to charm the pants off you...literally and figuratively. "The wooing stage is about selling himself and putting his best foot forward," says Calgary, Canada, sexologist Trina Read, Ph.D. Once he's succeeded in sweeping you off your feet though, you'll start to notice various changes in him. Some are nice -- he seems so much more comfortable with you, for instance. But others may come across as negative or just plain bizarre. Here's a surprise: That kind of behavior can actually confirm that he's stuck on you like glue. Confused? Don't worry, we explain it all here. 1. He Shows His Vulnerability Many guys think women are looking for the kind of dude who exudes st...