How can I tell if he loves me?


The easy answer is…

He tells you. He shows you. And you feel it.

But in real life, it can be a little less straightforward than that.

For instance, you might get involved with a man who avoids saying “I love you” because he feels awkward, uncomfortable, or even scared at the thought of it. Maybe he grew up in a family that discouraged the direct expression of love. Or maybe in the past he declared his love to a woman, and she ended up burning him.

And you know what?

Even if he can’t describe his sad reason for not being able to clarify his feelings for you, it might not matter! Because, one of women’s greatest temptations in relationships is imagining what that sad reason might be, and desperately believing it - whether or not it’s true.

Then, of course, you might be tempted to love the guy all the more for the (real or imaginary…) sad reason that he can’t possibly tell you that he loves you. This is risky, though.

More than one woman who’s sympathized with a man - because he’s tragically blocked from sharing the love - has been stunned and dismayed when he turns around and openly shares the love with the next woman he meets!

And that’s why I want you to consider this: a lot of men, with the right woman at the right time, have NO problem declaring to her how they feel. They might not always use the words, "I love you," but they manage to get their point across.

So, when you fall hard for a man, and he doesn’t end up using the L-word with you, it might just mean that he isn’t in love with you.

More importantly, if you fall hard for a man, and he doesn't really show you that he loves you, it might just mean that HE ISN'T IN LOVE WITH YOU.

What does it look like when a man isn't showing you the love? Here's a list of possibilities:

  • he doesn't treat you like you're a top priority in his life
  • he's nice to you mainly when it's convenient for him (like right before sex)
  • he checks out on you emotionally for long periods of time, and acts like you're crazy and/or needy for wondering why
  • he's openly critical of fundamental things about you that you can't change
  • he seems to enjoy your company, but it's as though he hasn't decided that you're the special woman in his life
  • he shuts you out of big parts of his real world and inner life
  • he keeps telling you that he's not good relationship material, but he doesn't discourage you from sleeping with him
  • he takes no emotional risks for you, but doesn't object when you take emotional risks for him
  • he gets irritated with the vulnerability you feel in the relationship
  • he rewards you for being "strong" and/or "understanding" when he does things that he knows hurt you

And...

  • he keeps sleeping with other women

A man who has his emotional act together and is wild about you WILL WANT TO MAKE YOU HAPPY. It will bring him pleasure. Just as hurting you will make him feel like shite, and he'll try to figure out how to stop doing it! He'll also want you to feel as special and valued as you make him feel. He'll be willing to take risks for your love. He'll want to share himself and his life with you. And he'll let the world know that you are his.

When a man loves you like this, you feel it.

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