[ dReamyComposuRe ]

by Lauren Frances Sometimes we do n't see a breakup coming until it hits us like a ton of bricks. We think everything is going great with our guy until WHAM! He drops the breakup bomb. That's why author and dating expert Lauren Frances says it's time to wise up and take off those rose-colored glasses. In this excerpt from her new book, Dating, Mating, and Manhandling, she walks us through a relationship reality check. Her tips can help us assess whether or not our union is worth fighting for. Resist the urge to preen. Most women love to fluff up everything around them. My calico cat was the recipient of much (unwanted) attention. He never asked to be put in a dolly dress, and in one photo is struggling with a cherry lolly that i rammed into his mouth "because he liked it." The bunny got sent to the vet when I "accidentally" hugged it too hard, and i broke my Easy-Bake Oven from excessive entertaining. I, like so many women, needed to overcome the tendenc...

Does he think so too? Compatibility and chemistry are two terms that are used interchangeably. Far from offering a scientific definition for each, the former entails a psychological bond between two people whereas the latter signals a physical connection. But merely explaining how the two differ is child's play; the challenge lies in how one can broach these delicate topics without alarming the other person. The following 10 things are areas in which couples must be in sync with one another, along with tips on how to address them. As you can imagine, this advice applies to relationships that have gone beyond at least five dates. 10. Travel To many, a hometown represents a limitation on dreams, culture and reality. For this reason, the escapism of traveling is cherished. Some love to go away alone while others rely on a trusted companion. However, you might be headed for heartbreak hotel when you realize that one of you is attached to your hometown while the other is planning to r...

BY STEPHANIE BOOTH If you're curious about the new dude in your life but know better than to grill him with 20 questions, you're gonna love our sneaky read-him tips . You don't have to date a guy for six months to get the lowdown on who he really is. With the right clues, you can size him up in 10 minutes. "A man's actions ‑- especially the ones you see in unguarded moments when he's not going out of his way to try to impress you (or doesn't realize you're watching) ‑- can speak volumes about his character and personality traits," says Rita Benasutti, Ph.D., a psychotherapist who specializes in couple's issues. To help you decode a guy you've just started seeing, Cosmo called on a team of experts to tell you how to assess his actions and tap into his boyfriend potential, pronto. His Favorite Sport "Solo sportsmen, like runners and swimmers, 1 savor their independence and relish spending a lot of time alone ," says relationship-s...

(After digging through lots of pages, i found this article! Good tips for us ladies--) Don't waste your time dating a dude who may turn out to be a dud. Instead, administer these minitests to your man to ferret out his true colors. If women could effortlessly clue in to men's myriad character deficits, we guys would never succeed at getting a second date. So unfortunately for you, we've gotten pretty good at concealing our personality blemishes -- especially early on in the impress-to-undress game. But I'll let you in on a little secret : There are ways to weed out the hopeless losers before you waste too much of your precious time -- or worse, get too attached . You just need to put your potential partner through a few simple tests that will slyly force him to reveal any unacceptable attributes. If you're lucky, the guy you're currently grooving on will pass with flying colors. And if he doesn't? Well, then you're justified in kicking him to the curb. 1...

by J. Courtney Sullivan My friend Michelle and her on-again-off-again were off. Again. She complained that he just wasn't going to the right lengths to win her back. "I need a big gesture," she said. "I need roses. I need tears. I need Lloyd Dobler on the front lawn with a boom box." Another friend, Laura, had not met anyone even halfway decent in months, and was starting to wonder if her best friend, Tiny Tony ‑- a sweetheart who is unfortunately short, bald and bulbous ‑- might be the guy for her after all. "I've never been attracted to him or anything," she said. "But maybe it's a When Harry Met Sally situation." After almost 15 years as a faithful fan of romantic comedies, I've come to a painful conclusion: The movies we watch to supplement our love lives are actually sabotaging them. A lot of lip service has been paid to the idea that violence in films causes men to be violent in real life. Why isn't anyone calling for w...

(This comes direct from a guy who is about to reveal signs he's about to cheat.) When it comes to cheating, men are king. We cheat at cards, we cheat on our taxes, and far too often, we cheat on our partners. According to the Ashley Madison Agency, 50 to 60 percent of men will engage in an extramarital tryst at some point in their lives. Our reasons are myriad, but the telltale signs of propensity for infidelity are typically the same. Gain insight into your own potential cheating heart by reading the top 10 signs you're about to have an affair. 10. You create a web of excuses and stories Once reticent and quiet, you've suddenly become a better story-teller than Mother-Goose. You never leave the house without an alibi, and you're constantly lying about the women with whom you've been spending time. You haven't done anything yet, but you're clearly preparing yourself for the day when you do. 9. You feel trapped You feel completely ensnared and you're not ...

Little moves that reveal what's bugging him by Nicole Beland So your guy's in a funk, but he won't give you a friggin' clue why. No problem! Dig into our body-lingo lessons to tap into what crawled up his butt. Sometimes you're sure something's bothering your man, but you can't quite put your finger on what the hell it is. And unfortunately, with the exception of American Idol's Simon Cowell, men have difficulty communicating negative feelings. "Men are hardwired to hide vulnerability," says Alon Gratch, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist in New York City and author of If Men Could Talk. "They're encouraged to appear tough on the outside, so they learn to keep their emotions to themselves." Thankfully, there's a better way to find out what's eating at him than just taking a wild guess: You can read his body language. "When a guy's suppressing emotion, it tends to leak out through his hands, face, feet and even his bo...

An excerpt from 180 Telltale Signs Mates Are Cheating and How to Catch Them Think your mate might be having an affair? Find out if he is displaying any of the warning signals described by Raymond B. Green, a private investigator and former police officer, and Marcella Bakur, a psychology professor at Marymount Manhattan College. Here, the 32 emotional signs that he is having an affair : Your mate is more attentive to your needs than usual. This is due to the guilt feelings experienced by the cheater in the early stages of his or her affair. The attention will diminish as the affair continues. Your mate begins buying you gifts -- lots of gifts . These are "Guilt Gifts" purchased because your partner feels guilty about betraying you and showering you with presents makes him or her feel better. Your mate's behavior is causing a gut feeling in you that something isn't right . If this happens, pay attention to your instincts. Ignoring them means you want to blind your...

by Lisa Sussman There's an old joke about a wife who nags her husband, "Tell me how you feel." Finally, the husband blurts, "I feel...I feel...like watching television." The awful truth is, most men have no idea how they feel at any given time. Studies show that men use language to establish difference, separateness and independence (exactly the opposite of women, who talk to connect). So demanding that he talk to you is guaranteed to make him squirm and start rambling about whether new Cheerios really are improved. Here are the answers and explanations to his biggest verbal 'Huhs?' (you'll be speaking like a native in no time). Take the cues from the following sections, so that you and your man can finally understand each other: What He Says When You're Dating An at-a-glance guide to his love talk: A slew of research has established that men and women use language in different ways. For women, talk is the glue that holds relationships toget...