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Editor's Note: Have you ever been blindsided by a breakup? Well, we don't want that to ever happen to you again. That's why we're presenting you with these dating deal breakers, reasons he might break up with you, all-star dating advice from the guys at AskMen.com. Some of the dating deal breakers they list are obvious. Some aren't. But either way, it never hurts to keep dating tips and dating advice from guys in your back pocket. She doesn't back you up . As men, we tend to engage in a few questionable activities from time to time. We'll speak out of turn or end up putting our foot in our mouth on more than one occasion. The comment may be benign, or just a controversial opinion, but it's your opinion nevertheless and you're entitled to it. At which point the standoff becomes clear and your back is against the wall. Your girlfriend should be right there next to you against that wall. If she doesn't respect you enough to back you up in public w...

While dating a coworker might seem like a wild, adventurous thrill ride that could make an otherwise drab workweek that much more exciting, there are a few key factors to keep in mind before taking the plunge into an office romance. These points are critical, especially for those of you who are trying to advance your career in a small office environment. Size Matters A small- to medium-size office can be a potentially disastrous place to find oneself attracted to a female colleague. While falling for a coworker isn't necessarily advised in any office environment, this holds especially true in a small workplace where everyone is into everyone else's business — both personal and work-related. You are already in direct contact with her on a daily basis, you talk about life and work, you have coffee and perhaps the occasional lunch here and there, it's almost as if the early stages of the dating game have already been taken care of. To Leap or Not to Leap? But at wh...

The relative success of every relationship you maintain in life hinges on communication. It is the foundation and bedrock of your bond with other people. Communication: Can it get any more basic than that? No. And as a result, you may assume that we are all experts in the field of good communication. Of course, such an assumption is false, and even absurd. Because as we well know, the most common relationship predicament, when you boil it down to the essence of the problem, is communication. We have difficulty with it and submit to almost unmanageable urges that compel us to act in a manner divergent from good relationship behavior. Men are the main offenders in this epidemic. We have that massive male ego to contend with for one, and an almost primordial instinct to "win" at every endeavor we partake in. Fight to the death When we unleash these typical male forces in the confines of our relationship, we blaze a trail of self-destruction. We start a pattern of dysfuncti...

After a certain time in a relationship , women start to equate what she knows about her guy with intimacy. Apparently, knowing all the little details about each other brings you closer together as a couple. Most men correctly identify this instinct as "nosiness." There are some things that she doesn't need to know: Obviously, details such as the fact that you did time for murder might need to be dealt with sooner rather than later, but there's a host of other little facts that can be safely swept under the carpet. And for your own peace of mind, it's best if you encourage her to keep some of her stories there as well. Note that we're not condoning outright lying, but it's often better to duck and dive. Skim over details, downplay the facts, or distract her with something shiny -- anything to keep sensitive information under wraps. More often than not, though, it's just a case of you keeping quiet when a stupid thought pops into your head. We'd ...

by Steve Santagati Let's face it: We all want to look sexy sometimes. And whether you're into a vintage style, or the full-on va-va-voom, we have to wonder, what do guys notice? If you ever wanted to know about men's preferences—like whether your Manolos even register on his Richter scale—here's your definitive guide. In this excerpt from The Manual , you'll find out for sure what men find sexy. Attention to vanity will seem shallow at times, but in the game of love, it's very important. Most people I see are lazy in this department. And, not surprisingly, these are the same people who complain, saying things such as “People are so superficial,” “I want him to love me for what's inside ,” or “ I hate the gym .” Well, no one is telling you that you can't dress as you choose. But when you put those constraints on yourself, you're limiting the number of men who will find you attractive . In the end, meeting the right person is a numbers game, and part...

by Francesca Di Meglio Men are full of surprises, and bedroom behavior is no exception. To get to the bottom of things, it took one of their own -- and a psychologist at that -- George Weinberg, author of Why Men Won't Commit: Getting What You Both Want Without Playing Games , who studies male behavior in romantic relationships. While we can't explain all male behavior, here are five sex secrets that may help you understand -- and get even closer to -- your guy. 1. He's afraid he'll let you down -- literally. Men feel tremendous pressure to perform sexually. "In the past, men weren't evaluating their sexual performance because women weren't supposed to judge them," says Weinberg. But women aren't waiting for marriage to have sex anymore, and that means they have more experience in the bedroom. Sexually satisfied role models, like Madonna and the Sex and the City sirens, encourage women to be open about their sexual desires and complaints. S...

If men and women are truly equal, then men must stop bending over backwards in the pursuit of making women happy, right men? Relationships are increasingly full-fledged partnerships after all, so why should we be the only ones trying to make women happy? We want to be happy and boys just want to have fun as well, so here are 10 things that men look for in the pursuit of happiness and Ms. Perfect. Read the list and answer the question that all men deliberate: do we prefer a pretty face or a beautiful body? 10. Charm Remember that Seinfeld episode when Jerry went out with that stunning blonde babe who got him out of every bad situation (speeding ticket, etc.)? Well, maybe this occurred because she was a babe, but I think she had such power because she was charming. If a woman can make you smile, then she has the charm to get out of any situation and will prove to become quite an ally. Charm is what draws men to those women who are not as good-looking as the others in our black book. ...

Whether you are ten or eighty years old and whether you are in a committed relationship or not, you are never safe from a healthy crush. Having a crush on somebody is just another way of saying that you like somebody a little more than the average Joe. Most people will admit to having crushes on a famous athlete or a gorgeous celebrity, but sometimes we start to have crushes on people who are around us every day. Aside from writing your name and your crush’s name encircled in a big heart over and over again, what are some ways to know that you are crushing on somebody? 1) You go out of your way to see or hang out with that person. Maybe you have a crush on that cute waitress at the coffee shop and you go out of your way about fifteen miles everyday just to have coffee at that specific location despite the fact that there is another similar coffee shop minutes away from your front door. It is safe to say you have a crush. Naturally, when you start to like somebody, you want to see th...

by by Bonnie Eaker Weil, Ph.D. When adultery shatters their relationship, both partners lose something. The betrayed feel as if they will never be able to trust or love wholeheartedly again. The betrayers feel they will never again find such flawless, undemanding love. Both sides must mourn these losses before they can change and move on. Like any grief, the sorrow for a dead relationship goes through stages: denial, anger, guilt and acceptance. All stages must be experienced before couples can find forgiveness and rebirth. The process requires great courage, determination and stamina nor--nobr but the reward is lasting Real-Life-Love. You cannot ignore or obliterate these feelings. You cannot forgive and reform your life while you are ruled by resentment, bitterness and hurt. You can't deny your emptiness, although a sad number of people try to do so. What the Deceived Must Do to Heal Allow yourself to grieve for your old untarnished relationship. What the Betrayer Must Do t...

by Dr. Brenda Shoshanna Recovering from any kind of betrayal is never easy. When it comes to forgiving her husband for his affair, iVillager J wonders: "Am I letting him get off too easy? Should I be making him suffer more? I'm very torn about where mercy and being a doormat differ." And she's certainly not alone. No matter what the issue once was, forgiveness is always a difficult -- but real -- part of relationships. And knowing where to start is often the hardest part. Many people think that they must just let go of the past to move on. Along with causing grief and trepidation, that approach limits personal growth. Plus, memories and traces of the past are always with us -- for some as wounds, for others as treasures. But, when we try to block out the past from our lives, it resurfaces at the oddest times: Old patterns return as unfinished lessons yet to be learned. Rather than hate a period of our life, the person we "used to be" or people we...

by Shirley P. Glass, Ph.D., with Jean Coppock Staeheli Excerpted from NOT "Just Friends" After infidelity has entered a marriage, questions about specific details are frequently an entryway into a deeper story. For example, questions about what gifts or cards were exchanged are really probing for how invested the unfaithful partner was in the affair -- emotionally and financially. One unfaithful wife and her affair partner made cassette tapes for each other with special love songs. Although it was extremely painful for the betrayed husband to listen to the romantic words of the songs, it helped him realize why it was so hard for his wife to let go of the affair. He was also shaken by what he had neglected. Ultimately, he was inspired to bring more romance back into their marriage. The following 10 questions will guide your exploration of the circumstances of the infidelity and the meaning behind it. Some of them are questions I use in my clinical practice to bring a slightly ...

by by Bonnie Eaker Weil, Ph. D. Heart attacks are not always fatal -- and neither is adultery. Cardiac patients can survive and even thrive, once they find a healthier way of living. After an affair, a couple can do the same by finding a healthier way of loving. I know how wrenching adultery can be, because I watched it nearly tear apart my own family. I also know from my own experience, both personal and professional, that adultery can be a forgivable sin. Fidelity is not a guarantee that love persists, nor is infidelity a sign that love has faded or died. In fact, adultery can even be a way -- albeit dysfunctional -- to try and stabilize a floundering relationship. Why is adultery so frightening and yet so fascinating? In part because we recognize the appeal of it. We grew up in triangles, competing for our mother's attentions with our father and our siblings, and vice versa. That taught us, deep inside, to be terrified of abandonment and to resent sharing. We never quite ...