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by Tracey Cox Do you have a great love life that's just become a bit stagnant? Give me one weekend. Follow my relationship advice, and you can say goodbye to the blahs. With these six simple steps, we'll give that love life — and sex life! — a boost into relationship bliss. Saturday: Repairing Your Relationship Get Real Okay, I have to start with some very tough love, and you're not going to like it. But this is a fact: Your relationship will have the best chance of survival if you let go of your romantic illusions. I'm not saying relationships can't be romantic long-term, but — brace yourself — most of the time they're not. What confuses us is that the same partner that excited us in the beginning can now leave us bored stupid! It's this longing for the past that causes problems in the present. Most relationships start with a heady infusion of intoxicating hormones: You're in a bubble built for two, and there's a feeling of oneness. Over...

by Dr. Brenda Shoshanna Usually we enter relationships hoping they will make us happy. We hope that this person is the right one , that we aren't repeating mistakes of the past, and that finally we will receive the love, support, companionship and admiration we have been searching for. Each person has a shopping list of hopes and expectations, and while those are being fulfilled, everyone is happy. Although this is kind of approach to relationships is normal, it usually brings disappointment because happiness is fleeting. It comes and goes. It has to, because happiness depends upon circumstances. When things go well, we are happy. When we get what we want, when the sun is shining, others value us, our boss is approving, our boyfriend finally pops the question, these are moments of happiness. Joy is different. It doesn't come and go. It doesn't depend upon outer circumstances to be present. When things are difficult, when our hopes are not fulfilled, it is still possible to...

by Sherry Amatenstein You'd have to be a serious commitment-phobe to choose to live hundreds -- or even thousands -- of miles away from the man you love. But sometimes it's just not up to you. Career, school and family are just a few of the factors that keep lovers whispering sweet nothings into phones instead of each other's ears. But if you think a relationship is doomed because of distance, think again. According to stats compiled by the Center for the Study of Long-Distance Relationships (yes, there really is such a thing), the myth that most long-distance relationships fail is just that: a myth. The reality is that more couples are making it work than you might think. Over one million couples are living in separate U.S. cities today, and another 700,000 LDR couples are actually married. So how do you stay close (and get even closer) when you're so far apart? It's not simple, but it's not impossible -- and these five tips can help: Be clear about expe...

by Compiled by Nina Sherwin At some point in our lives, we all play the dating game. The question is: How do we win it? Should we exaggerate our positive qualities or stick to the truth? Which pick-up lines are winners and which ones bomb? Will a blind date lead to Loserville or to long-lasting love? Here's what iVillagers say are "the rules" to live by in the dating world. Choose the tools you think will work for you: 1. Make them suspect you're interested, but don't let them know for sure. Men like the chase, so give it to them! --fiona777 2. Find out if he has any good platonic female friends. Men should be able to relate to women as friends, not just as sex objects. --JL396 3. Don't drink too much on a date. During my friend's last date, she was nervous and had too much to drink. As her date was driving her home in his new car, she realized she was going to be sick. She didn't want to tell him to stop and she certainly didn...

by Abby Schwartz and Sherry Amatenstein his season, instead of telling your significant other how you feel about him, let the gift you buy speak for you. Because gifts send messages all their own, we've created the iVillage Gift Decoder, a secret weapon that exposes the true meaning behind some of the most classic gift ideas. We've also asked dating expert Sherry Amatenstein -- a.k.a. iVillage's Dating Doyenne -- to share some of her knowledge on the subject of romantic gift exchanges. So, if the thought of starting your gift search fills you with dread, fear no more. Simply read on…. If You Give... If You Give: A tie You're Saying: "Your beer-guzzling, frat boy charm has worn off. Please get a real job." If You Give: Silk boxer shorts You're Saying: "The less clothing I see you in, the better, stud." If You Give: A weekend vacation for two "I like you enough to spend every moment of the entire weekend with you alone. So if you were w...

by Dr. Brenda Shoshanna Picture this. After spending an incredible night together, you're lying in bed with your partner and feeling more connected than ever. The only thing that could make this post-seduction scene cozier is talking about just how cozy the post-seduction scene is. But just as you're about to whisper, " What are you thinking ?" in his ear, you stop. Why? To avoid the deer-in-the-headlights look from your partner. You're not alone. When it comes to relationships, most women want to know everything that a man is thinking. His secrets are often considered little enemies, capable of tearing the relationship apart. But nothing could be farther from the truth. In fact, it's absolutely necessary for each partner to have his or her own personal world -- thoughts, feelings and boundaries that belong to him or her and no one else. So what's a well-intentioned woman to do? Read on to find out which topics are better left untouched -- and why. If ...

by Sherry Amatenstein Tired of first dates that don't result in relationships? Sick of chasing after guys who clearly aren't ready to commit ? If you've made an all-out effort to find your match with little success, maybe it's time to rethink your approach toward searching for true love. Here you'll find five common mistakes women make in the dating game. If one or two sound familiar, don't beat yourself up. Just recognize that you deserve better and commit to making a change for good. 1. If you think love will never find you, it won't. I receive many posts on the Dating Doyenne board from women whose romantic disappointments have left them convinced there is something inheren tly unlovable about them. They say things like: "Who would want me anyway? I'm sure I'm going to wind up alone." Obviously these women are as worthy of love as you and I. ( Yes, we're worthy !) But they've come down with something so awful it can keep them...