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Whether you are ten or eighty years old and whether you are in a committed relationship or not, you are never safe from a healthy crush. Having a crush on somebody is just another way of saying that you like somebody a little more than the average Joe. Most people will admit to having crushes on a famous athlete or a gorgeous celebrity, but sometimes we start to have crushes on people who are around us every day. Aside from writing your name and your crush’s name encircled in a big heart over and over again, what are some ways to know that you are crushing on somebody? 1) You go out of your way to see or hang out with that person. Maybe you have a crush on that cute waitress at the coffee shop and you go out of your way about fifteen miles everyday just to have coffee at that specific location despite the fact that there is another similar coffee shop minutes away from your front door. It is safe to say you have a crush. Naturally, when you start to like somebody, you want to see th...

by by Bonnie Eaker Weil, Ph.D. When adultery shatters their relationship, both partners lose something. The betrayed feel as if they will never be able to trust or love wholeheartedly again. The betrayers feel they will never again find such flawless, undemanding love. Both sides must mourn these losses before they can change and move on. Like any grief, the sorrow for a dead relationship goes through stages: denial, anger, guilt and acceptance. All stages must be experienced before couples can find forgiveness and rebirth. The process requires great courage, determination and stamina nor--nobr but the reward is lasting Real-Life-Love. You cannot ignore or obliterate these feelings. You cannot forgive and reform your life while you are ruled by resentment, bitterness and hurt. You can't deny your emptiness, although a sad number of people try to do so. What the Deceived Must Do to Heal Allow yourself to grieve for your old untarnished relationship. What the Betrayer Must Do t...

by Dr. Brenda Shoshanna Recovering from any kind of betrayal is never easy. When it comes to forgiving her husband for his affair, iVillager J wonders: "Am I letting him get off too easy? Should I be making him suffer more? I'm very torn about where mercy and being a doormat differ." And she's certainly not alone. No matter what the issue once was, forgiveness is always a difficult -- but real -- part of relationships. And knowing where to start is often the hardest part. Many people think that they must just let go of the past to move on. Along with causing grief and trepidation, that approach limits personal growth. Plus, memories and traces of the past are always with us -- for some as wounds, for others as treasures. But, when we try to block out the past from our lives, it resurfaces at the oddest times: Old patterns return as unfinished lessons yet to be learned. Rather than hate a period of our life, the person we "used to be" or people we...

by Shirley P. Glass, Ph.D., with Jean Coppock Staeheli Excerpted from NOT "Just Friends" After infidelity has entered a marriage, questions about specific details are frequently an entryway into a deeper story. For example, questions about what gifts or cards were exchanged are really probing for how invested the unfaithful partner was in the affair -- emotionally and financially. One unfaithful wife and her affair partner made cassette tapes for each other with special love songs. Although it was extremely painful for the betrayed husband to listen to the romantic words of the songs, it helped him realize why it was so hard for his wife to let go of the affair. He was also shaken by what he had neglected. Ultimately, he was inspired to bring more romance back into their marriage. The following 10 questions will guide your exploration of the circumstances of the infidelity and the meaning behind it. Some of them are questions I use in my clinical practice to bring a slightly ...

by by Bonnie Eaker Weil, Ph. D. Heart attacks are not always fatal -- and neither is adultery. Cardiac patients can survive and even thrive, once they find a healthier way of living. After an affair, a couple can do the same by finding a healthier way of loving. I know how wrenching adultery can be, because I watched it nearly tear apart my own family. I also know from my own experience, both personal and professional, that adultery can be a forgivable sin. Fidelity is not a guarantee that love persists, nor is infidelity a sign that love has faded or died. In fact, adultery can even be a way -- albeit dysfunctional -- to try and stabilize a floundering relationship. Why is adultery so frightening and yet so fascinating? In part because we recognize the appeal of it. We grew up in triangles, competing for our mother's attentions with our father and our siblings, and vice versa. That taught us, deep inside, to be terrified of abandonment and to resent sharing. We never quite ...

Certain ladies shouldn't be touched with a 10-foot pole, no matter how hot they are. Instead of giving in to temptation, distract yourself from the desire. Take a class, help kids or take in a ballgame, but whatever you do, stay away from these women you can never date. Generally, the reason to avoid these ladies has nothing to do with the woman herself, but it has everything to do with her context in your life. Read on for a complete list of women you can never date, and save your reputation, your bank account, your job, and your friendships. 1. Your Best Friend's Sister The woman you know the best will often appeal to you the most. But if she is your best friend's sister, getting lucky can mean two months of fun followed by the need to move to another part of the city. She makes the “women you can never date” list because as soon as sis becomes sweetheart, you'll be walking on eggshells with your buddy. Gone are the days of complaining to your friend about your wome...

Timing is essential, in all walks of life. While you're probably well aware of the obvious as it pertains to relationships and picking up women (communication and observation skills, adaptation to different situations, etc.), you may not think about timing very often, which is a crucial mistake. Some will say you simply follow the flirting flow; trace the grain through a series of events—good and bad—without falling out of the groove. However, this can lead to long-term commitments, so a Player must constantly control the direction of any encounter to insure any new romantic relationship remains entirely temporary from start to finish. This requires more hands-on performance and a good deal of careful attention, even though it sounds suspiciously like work. If you don't want to be staring down the end of a double-barreled shotgun cleverly disguised as a marriage certificate, you had better take the necessary steps and precautions. In other words, you can keep things casual with...